


Fly High

by MusiCSouL



Category: Ao no Exorcist | Blue Exorcist
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-07-23
Updated: 2014-10-29
Packaged: 2018-02-10 00:55:01
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 27,558
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2004741
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MusiCSouL/pseuds/MusiCSouL
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The story is about Rin and the others in another altenertive world, but Rin still under the state of Satan's son. And another story started as Rin likes to sing and he started to become a web singer in the help of Yukio. And the whole story will goes around between Rin and Ryuuji. (friendship for now and romance for later) (sorry for the bad summary)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Begin

**Author's Note:**

> ADVICE: IT'S HIGHLY RECOMMENDED TO LISTEN TO THE MUSIC I MENTIONED BEFORE THE CHAPTER STARTS AS ALL MY INSPIRATION ABOUT THE STORY IN EACH CHAPTER ARE BASED ON THE SONGS I LISTEN TO. AND PLEASE DO NOT BOTHER TO WEAR A HEADPHONE OR SOMETHING WHEN YOU'RE LISTENING TO IT! AND I CAN SURE YOU'LL HAVE FUN THEN! :D

I will name all the chapters with Japanese songs that I am familiar with :D

And I’ll probably end each chapter with a song’s lyric (but probably I’ll set it on the middle of the chapter, it depends on what had the plot goes until.)

Probably I need someone to help me to think about further plots to go on…

Hope you guys will enjoy the song as well as you guys reading my work :D

And please do give advice to me about the language as I really wanted to improve in my writing skill >w<

                For your information, I did not own the characters, and the lyrics. The character is belongs to Kazue Katō. I’ll mention each of the lyric’s owner just before each chapter begins.

* * *

 

 

Information about the title of the chapter and lyrics in this chapter.

Title:

Begin feat. Tohoshinki

Song of this chapter:

ENGLISH "Yume Sekai" Sword Art Onlinefeat. Amanda Lee (LeeandLie)

(You can subscribe her in the youtube! :D her sound is sweet and I can sure you’ll like this version of this song once you listen to it! :D)

* * *

 

 

                “Nii-san! You have to look at this!”

                Currently Yukio is pulling Rin excitedly towards his desk.

                “The heck?” frowning, Rin stops besides Yukio, standing against the desk in their room.

                “You have to look at this!” pointing at the screen of the laptop he got around 3 months ago, gifted by the school as part of the scholarship, Yukio grinned towards his twin brother, “They like your cover of this song so much!”

                “What? What cover?” frowning at the statement that his twin brother stated to him, Rin pull his eyesight towards the monitor screen of the laptop. As Yukio pull his finger back from the surface of the laptop, he moved his hand quickly, controlling the mouse, sliding it towards the play button place at the middle of a black patch.

                And a familiar voice stared to flows out from the speaker.

                “Hey! That’s my voice!” Rin flustered as he realise that the familiar sound belongs to him himself, “When did I put this up on the internet?”

                “It’s me, Nii-san,” Turning his face from the screen, Yukio grinned at his now red-cheeked twin brother; “I purposely record your voice and upload it to the internet.”

                “What?” Rin’s face had gotten to a further redness, somehow glitters under the laptop’s screen light as Yukio’s word hit his mind, “Why did you do that?”

                “Because you like to sing isn’t it? So I decided to do this!” Yukio’s grin widen as he continue on his conversation, “This probably can make you a friend and two, besides…”

                “I don’t need a friend!” Rin frowned as he protested immediately, looking away from his younger brother, “…I mean I don’t need to use this to make friends…”

                Due to Rin’s overwhelming strength since his childhood time, and with his well-known bad temper, Rin didn’t get any friends as he grown up. People around Rin were afraid of him. They called Rin as “Demon” “The freak” and stuffs. This hurts Rin a lot. But Rin never give up on meeting new friends, but always ended up with failure. People still afraid with Rin as his strength grow with him from time to time.

                “But it’s good as you won’t hurt your friends you made by using the internet,” standing up, Yukio grabbed his brother’s hand as he know what his brother afraid of, “And they won’t scare about your strength, isn’t it?”

               “…Yea maybe you’re right,” Rin’s brow still locked together as he’s thinking whether is it a good way to make friend.

After a few second of considering, Rin turn his face towards his younger twin brother, still frowning “So will I really get friends by just doing like this? By put what I sing up to the internet?” Singing is always his second favourite thing than cooking, but he had never been thinking to make it publicly, so he was somewhat unsure if doing like this is a good choice.

                “Yep, that’s right! And you can always write about your feeling on it like a diary too so they can know you better!” grinning at his brother’s decision, Yukio push his brother towards the chair he just sat not long before, “and actually I made this account for you! You can try it out by using it now then! But first let us check out the replies!”

               “Oh okay… So these are the reply…” Rin tried focusing his sight to the glowing screen, to the brand new world of his, led by his younger twin brother. Glancing through the comments like ‘ _Whoa you covered this song amazingly well!’_ , _‘Oh I wonder if your face is just wonderful as your voice?’_ , _‘Oh I really liked your cover of this song! It suits you so much!’_ had made Rin flush and he started to hum with a light and warming grin on his face.

                “Oh wow!” And his eye spotted an ID while he was replying those comments he had by his brother’s help, “He looks cool!” Yukio followed where his elder brother had pointed. The owner of the ID seems to have a cool look. With the obviously dyed golden stroke on the middle of the brunet, and had some ear-pierce that suits his look a lot.

                “Suguro… Ryuuji…” Rin read the ID name carefully, with his eye slightly narrowed, “Wow! He had himself a cool name too!” Frowning again, Rin mumbled a bit to himself. And Rin started to click on the name of the ID, and the page jumped into the ID owner’s personal page.

                Surfing through Ryuuji’s page, Rin found that his page was filled of videos that are recorded with the owner’s solo performance of electric guitar and covered song by himself. Rin found Ryuuji’s voice is magnificent enough to pull his attention to the songs.

                “Wow he’s absolutely cool Inside out!” Rin was totally amazed by this guy called Ryuuji, which is too cool for him, “He can sing well too! And I liked his style of singing too!”

                “So probably he’ll be the first friend to Nii-san, I see,” placing his forefinger on his jaw, “Perhaps he’ll like to be your friend too? Won’t you like to try it out, Nii-san?”

                “Oh okay!” Rin look at his younger brother with a slightest worry flash over his eye, “but what should I do to greet to a person? Since you blend well in you school life, I think you’ll probably know a bit about it?”

                “Hmm…” Yukio furrowed a bit from his twin brother’s question, “I’m not quite sure about it too…” Actually Yukio didn’t blend too much in the school despite he’s better than Rin that he doesn’t have the strength and the temper as his elder brother, but he had being a bookworm since he’s in his school life, and he didn’t actually tries to blend in with his classmates, mostly hiding himself in the library, and sink himself into kinds of study.

                “Hmm… maybe you can just tell him straight what you want? That wanted to make friend with him? ” Yukio finally give out a suggestion with a grin, “and this style of greeting sure suits you a lot!”

                “Hey!” Rin protested angrily, huffing, “I just wanted make a friend, but they always run away from me! Don’t make fun of me okay!”

                “Okay, okay, just relax, Nii-san,” Yukio give his brother a sheepish grin, “maybe just ask him ‘would you be my friend?’ I think it would help a little?”

                “Hmm…” Thinking with his empty mind is hard enough to let Rin himself fell in headache, “Maybe I’ll try to sort it by myself…? Just borrow your laptop for a while, okay?”

                “Okay, just don’t forget to return me the laptop before dinner!” Grinning, Yukio give his brother a gentle push, “So I’ll be going down to help father to do something, ‘ll be back!” After giving Rin permission to have his laptop for a while, Yukio starts to walk downstairs to seek for their foster father, leaving his twin brother alone in the now empty room.

                Ten minutes pass by, Rin still frowning, thinking the most suitable words to greet to the cool-looking guy to him, as he really wanted to be friend with someone, especially with someone cool. He really never had been with a friend relationship with anyone, so this lets him feel anxious.

                “Hmm… Argh!” Having enough headaches within him, Rin let out a deep growl. _It is really hard to get a friend._ In a moment Rin think about giving up with this, but he was longing to have a friend, like everyone does. “What should I say…?” Asking himself question and his memory starts to sway as he catches a glimpse of what his foster father had told him in the past…

                _“Well, you’ll have to be really honest to people if you want to make friend with someone, my boy.”_

                “Be honest…” Rin mumbled to himself, bracing his elbows on the desk, with chin above his palms as he remembered what his foster father said to him when he asked him that how to make friends with other people. With a determined look, Rin started to type in the words to the guy named Ryuuji on the message box:

              _Hello, and thanks for liking what have I sang! To be honest I really never expect that my voice will be on the internet! Actually it’s my brother who uploaded what I sing along with to here! Actually I did hope to have a friend to be with, but sadly I don’t have the opportunity to have it… But can you be my friend? You looked so cool and your music’s cool too! I like your style of singing! And the way you performed your guitar skill! I really hope that I can be your friend! And nice to meet you! And sorry if what I said had bothered you…_

_Sincerely,_

_Rin Okumura_

Rin don’t really know what’s a message box is about, so he decided to end it like writing a letter. _Maybe it’s just like writing a letter,_ that’s what in Rin’s thought. After reassuring everything is okay, Rin pressed the “Send” button at the bottom right corner of the message box. And Rin turn his gaze blank to the screen again for a few second. He decided to sing another song that he liked the most for this moment.

_I wonder if this light inside my heart has been right here all along_  
 _And I've never noticed it at all_  
 _'Cause every time I stumble down_  
 _Or have to take the long way around_  
 _It shines on me forever more_  
  
 _The distant singing of the bells_  
 _If you listen close it tells_  
 _A lonely story_  
  
 _Once more, I'll push my fears away_  
 _All that I endure today will make me stronger_  
  
 _The mere repeating of reality alone_  
 _Aligns the stars and all the wishes they take on_  
 _At last I've found something to chase with all my might_  
 _I cannot fight or go against these feelings_  
  
 _No matter if one day I wake and blink away this world around me_  
 _And I'm lost in thoughts of what could be_  
 _I know that I will find my way_  
 _'Cause now I have this light within me_  
 _It shines on me forever more_  
  
 _Every night following that dream_  
 _Where I threw away that old and silly ribbon_  
 _Lights have adorned the city streets_  
 _And I've been without one fret or worry within_  
  
 _I need a sanctuary that will keep me safe_  
 _As if protected like an angel in heaven_  
 _If I cannot have wings I'd like someone to trust_  
 _I know it must be wonderful like magic_  
  
 _If I could choose I'd stay like this forever while this world around me_  
 _Fills with colours I have never seen_  
 _I know I wouldn't hesitate_  
 _'Cause now the colours of each moment_  
 _Will change and change forever more_  
  
 _Answers we cannot find_  
 _No matter if they're not kind_  
 _We'll find it even blind_  
 _That is true in my mind_  
  
 _I'm believing till the end_  
 _That we are similar, my friend_  
 _One day I'll shine like this Dream World_  
  
 _If you just take a moment to blink all those tears away from your eyes_  
 _And you manage to conceal your cries_  
 _You'll never fear again because_  
 _The future you yearned for in heartache_  
 _Will shine on you forevermore_  
 _Without a limit_  
  
 _No matter if one day I wake and blink away this world around me_  
 _And I'm lost in thoughts of what could be_  
 _I know that I will find my way_  
 _'Cause now I have this light within me_  
 _It shines on me forevermore_  
 _And shines and shines forevermore_  
 _For you and me, eternally_

* * *

 

and this was actually my first attempt to do a fanfic, and writing a novel by using english... I don't know will it work or not, but I really do appreciate if someone are willing to help me with this... m

anyway, I do really hope all will like this... tell me if there's still some grammatical errors, and especially if there's a major mistake...

I'm really quite weak in languaes, but I really do want to try this out as I really likes to write stories...


	2. Greetings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ryuuji gained his interest in this wonderfully granted voice of Rin and his personality. He was wondering why Rin still being alone as he had a gentle heart and a gifted voice that almost capable with all types of song (which Rin actually got the talent from his father-Satan which was a worship leader in heaven before his fall).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay from now on I'll update the unbeta version work for this story here, if you're interested of the beta version you can go for the link below:  
> https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10558286/2/Fly-High  
> *P.S : The beta version is really great! The Drak Crimson Blood really made my story more interesting! Oh really thanks to him/her who helped me so much in my language! I wish I can become a person like him/her someday! I'm really looking forward for it! :D
> 
> I decided to do so because I'd really wanted to see what's going on with me and if I improved from time to time.  
> and in fact, I also can't wait to share what I've written out! XP  
> and thanks to The Dark Crimson Blood from the fanfiction.net for willing to help me on beta my work! :D
> 
> Actually I tried to move on fast until the part I really wanted to write about X3  
> But things won’t be perfect if we rush, isn’t it?  
> So I’ll go on with a stable phase. 
> 
> AGAIN, I STRONGLY ADVICE TO EVERYONE WHO ARE INTERESTED IN MY FAN FIC TRY TO LISTEN TO THE MUSICS WITH THE HEADSETS ON WHILE YOU’RE ENJOYING MY WORK AS I NORMALLY GETS INSPIRATIONS THROUGH LISTEN TO THESE SONGS! ;)
> 
> And thanks to those who have like my previous work so much! I did appreciate it as it encourages me to move forward for this story! :D
> 
> And maybe this will become a multiple-series work as I found my plot is just enough to end in the middle! I tried to finish the whole plot summary just in the afternoon I uploaded my first chapter, and I found that just one series is not enough, and it will be really boring long if I make the whole story till the end in my mind just in one series. 
> 
> And as I count, I found that I already write summaries over 10 chapters of this story! Can’t wait to finish them as soon as possible!  
> (And I’ll try my best to put less of those nagging things before and after I start my chapter on the next time XP)
> 
> Informations about song used for this story:  
> Title:  
> Greetings – Tohoshinki (actually it’s a Korean song based on a movie called “The Millionare’s First Love”)  
> Song:  
> Prayer Blue - feat. TouHou FELT
> 
> (And actually I'm not really sure that if this title suits or not...I just simply write something actually)

**Chapter 2: Greetings**

                A slight sound of twisting on the door knob followed by squeaking sound of a door filled the space as a person opens a door.

                And lights went on not long the tilting sound fills the dark spaces.

                The owner of the room stepped in the room and slowly moved himself to his desk.

                Turning on the CPU, the brunette and blonde-streaked guy sits in front of the monitor, and starting to pull his bag onto his lap. He pulls out the exercise books and notes with a neatly written “Sugoro Ryuuji” on each of them and placed them in order on the limited space of the desk.

                It took almost one and a half hour for Ryuuji to finish all his assignments. He always spends no time in his study hour. He can always discipline himself well and with his overpowered memorizing ability he always manages to solve almost all the questions without referring to his notes. He can always finish all his homework and assignments without anyone’s help, especially in mathematics subject as he’s good in memorizing formula. This always makes his childhood friends insult him as an “overpowered monster in memorizing”.

                After ensuring he done his assignments without any mistakes, Ryuuji slot his books back to the bag and activate his pc. As the pc starts to get on its pace on the programs, Ryuuji clicked on the web browser and type in the link that links to the social network he normally uses.

                Ryuuji likes to share what he had played or sang to the internet, finding himself proud when he receives compliments from the other internet singer. He likes to sing a lot, and he gains his confident through uploading his performance on the internet, on his familiar social network. He feels like he’s being surrounded by people who had the same determination and dream. This let him feels he’s not alone.

                He glances through the screen and found he got some private messages. Moving his finger on the mouse, Ryuuji controls the mouse, letting the cursor moves to the private message button and clicks it open.

                After replying the request from the other web singer, to accept their requests to sing the song they’ve written and stuffs, he finally check on the mail without a subject.

                Frowning, Ryuuji once again moving his cursor to the mail and click it open.

                _I wonder whose mail is this._ Looking at the unfamiliar name of the mail sent to him, Ryuuji’s eyebrow lifted in curious.

                … Rin Okumura. It’s the newbie that he found not long ago. The person doesn’t record his face on the video. Instead, he, or maybe she put a random picture of the album of the song he covered into the video. But his voice is magnificent. He’s a gifted singer because he had an attracting sound that perhaps he suits most of the types of songs that can be found in this world. Perhaps Rin is a girl? The video shows that she can even handle high – pitched part that ordinary boys can’t do really well. But after Ryuuji checked Rin’s profile, he found that Rin’s definitely a boy. This left Ryuuji feeling shock and amazed to God’s gift to Rin.

                As he reads the mail that sent by the interesting person carefully, he found that Rin is a shy person personally. He doesn’t have a friend before? Why? He’s not good looking? He had a bad temper? But from how Rin writes the letter he found that Rin were probably a good person. Rin cares about the other’s feeling _. Rin would be a really caring person._ This is the conclusion made by Ryuuji after he read Rin’s message (or somehow can be called as a short letter from Rin). _So why can’t he make himself a friend?_

                Frowning to the question, Ryuuji fold one his palms into a punch and place it under his chin. How should he reply this? It would be really awkward if he ask Rin why he doesn’t have a friend, so he left the question behind his mind. After a while thinking, he put his hand on the keyboard and started to type:

                _Hello! It’s nice to meet you there! It’s nice to listen to your voice! You’re a talented singer, really. So it would not take you a long time to become famous and maybe you can start to have a job in this field not long after this! It’s my pleasure to have someone as a friend of mine, so you don’t have to be ashamed to ask about it! And again, nice to meet you!_

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

“Oh! Yukio! He said he’s willing to become my friend!”

Grinning wide, Rin pulled his brother to the laptop his brother borrowed him for a while. Rin’s currently high as he got a friend for himself successfully. He’s bouncing on the ball on his foot excitedly and begins to break himself into a weird dance of happiness. “So old man’s advice is right!” Rin grinned widely in cheer as he moved them both to the desk where the laptop lies.

                “Glad to hear that, Nii-san!” Yukio reply Rin’s glee with a gentle smile. He had never seen his brother this happy before. So maybe this is a good starting for his older twin brother. Looking his elder brother dancing in a weird manner, Yukio let out a voiceless sigh of relieve. _Maybe this guy called Suguro Ryuuji can become Nii-san’s good friend._

                “By the way,” Rin stopped his weird dance and turn himself towards his brother, “Yukio, Can you teach me how to make a video?”

                After a long while Yukio teaching Rin how to make a video, and he started to set the camera of a handy video recorder for his brother.

                “Okay there! All Set!” Yukio clap his hand in satisfaction as he found everything’s done perfectly. “So what are you trying to sing now?”

                “Okay, I’ll sing this _Prayer Blue_ for this video” Grinning at the video camera proudly, “okay it’s still quite embarrassing as this is my first time singing for a video purpose… But I’ll try my best!”

Rin click on the play button of the media player on the pc. Before the intro ends, Rin take a deep breath in and he started to sing.

 

_Just smile at the changing seasons _  
_That's all life_

  
_Sparkling, that manipulated soul is going to deep sleep_  
 _Leaving a proof that it once lived here_  
 _Let's deeply carve it one by one rather than struggling_

  
_Lit fleetingly during the moment of running around rapidly_  
 _My heart hurts at the ended dream_  
 _Lead on a journey that continues,_  
 _I have to believe_  
 _We will create Our own irreplaceable future_

  
_My body is shivering and don't put out walking by a disturbing premonition_  
 _Even I committed a wish to a fragment of my memory_  
 _I cannot even change anything by myself_  
 _During the bewilderment, there still is a wish that you cannot give up on_  
 _Only you walk all along the way with me_

  
_The flower that ascends to black sky will live_  
 _And it seems to charm this pretty figure at this place once again_  
 _The silence before dawn_  
 _We will inhale that sounded breath of stars_  
 _To constantly pray_

_Eye that dried from headwinds_  
 _There still is a drop of tears_  
 _I recalled a distant past_  
 _If I cross this wind, Will I find the opened gate to a new world?_  
 _To that fantasy future..._

_Can ride the wind and gather rain_  
 _These things are also conveyed to us_  
 _Even if the time that I visit the countless sorrow came_  
 _I'm still going on_  
 _No matter how many times even to the point that sky won't tell_  
 _I will still repeat the prayer_  
 _Tonight I will stretch out this hand_

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

-This is not part of the story-

And I found it’s quite hard to find a title if I really tried to find Japanese songs and tries to make them as a title, so maybe I’ll also add in Korean songs that I know? Because I would really like to share songs I know that is good to the others too! So maybe other people will like it too? I don’t know, but somehow I really likes to sing too by the way, and this is part of reason I write this novel XP okay I’m quite living in my world I know, but still, hope you guys will like my fan fic~


	3. The Lost One's Weeping

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rin overheard his teacher gossiping about him. He skipped his classes. He can't stop feeling useless.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And there! I made the chapter 3 quick too as I’ll have one week’s holiday for my country’s Festival of fasting month ends for the Muslims here.  
> So please do enjoy my work as well! :D  
> Still, thanks for those who have favourite my work and followed my work! I do really appreciate your support! :D  
> AGAIN, I STRONGLY ADVICE TO EVERYONE WHO ARE INTERESTED IN MY FAN FIC TRY TO LISTEN TO THE MUSICS WITH THE HEADSETS ON WHILE YOU’RE ENJOYING MY WORK AS I NORMALLY GETS INSPIRATIONS THROUGH LISTEN TO THESE SONGS! ;)
> 
> \--------------------------------------------------------------
> 
> Information for songs I choose in this chapter.  
> Title:  
> The Lost One’s Weeping feat. Kagamine Rin  
> Songs:  
> The Lost One’s Weeping feat. Kagamine Rin  
> In My World - ROOKiEZ is PUNK'D
> 
> \---------------------------------------------------

A harsh sound of stomping echoed through the now empty monastery. A shade appeared at the hallway. The owner of the shade rushing along the hallway and swiftly forward to the twin’s room.

Rin rush in his room with rage and slammed the door extremely hard behind him. A vivid crack appears on the surface of the wooden door.

The room appears dark because of the lacking of the sunlight as the curtains on the window had blocked most of the sunlight out of their way into the room.

The old clock hanging on the wall of their small room still remains its function with diligence. The shorter bold needle of the clock points at the middle of the number 9 and 10 shows that the time is still way too early for everyone to come back from their work and studies. But Rin did make himself here at this timing.

Leaning his limbs on the wall, Rin tried his best to flush away his rage. He feels like there’s something burning deep inside his body, which make his body feels extremely hot and unease. He lifted his head and lean against the wall to ease his now aching head. He slide down and went limp on the floor as he tried their best to release the virulent feel out of his body.

He had reached his limit. He can’t stop his feeling to punch on something, want to smash anything out from his sight.

He wanted to screech, he wanted to yell out his rage. Resist the urge of letting out a screech, he lean his back again against the wall.

As he continue his effort on sooth himself down, memory about the event that take place a week ago started to attack his mind.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

-A week ago-

Someone bullied Yukio. They grabbed Yukio’s book from him and smashed it hard on the ground, stepping on them. They force Yukio to pay them money for _something fun_ as they said, probably for cigarette, for alcohol, or maybe for drugs. Their expression is just like they’re waiting for something that can make them excited. They can’t wait for it. Rin witness the scene accidently. Rage takes control of Rin. So Rin hit them really hard. And they had been sent to the hospital.

But Shiro wants Rin to apologise to their parents after knowing what’s going on. Rin refused to do that, but Shiro finally force him to do so.

After apologise to the villain’s parents, Shiro walk Rin back to home, prevent him from going somewhere else.

_“But they are the one who bullied Yukio!” Rin huffing towards Shiro in frustration._

_“But you hit them hard, isn’t it?” Looking at his son who started to protest, Shiro pointed out what he had done wrong. This is the reason why Shiro wants Rin to apologise to the villain’s parents._

_“They deserve it!” Rin shouted in rage._

_“But their parent doesn’t think that so.” frowning, Shiro told Rin about what the others will think about him._

_“I don’t care how they think!”_

_“But I do care!” Shiro shouted._

_“!?” Rin stunned. “Why?!”_

_Why do you care so much?_

_“Because you’re my son!” Shiro moved forward and hugged Rin tightly, “I can’t let them misunderstood you as a villain!”_

“But why?” Rin started to talk to himself, “I don’t deserve this aren’t I?”

And he started to recall about what’s happening in the morning.

 

 

* * *

 

 

And what happen today is he overheard some of his teachers gossiping about what he had done few days ago.

Rin actually had a sharp hearing too. His demonic nature (which he still don’t know about it yet) made him had a better physical state than any human. He noticed his physical ability when he was still small. He even found himself sharp in hearing when he was seven. He overheard someone’s whispering gossips about him. They’re definitely whispering as the person who talks lean his head forward the other’s ear, one hand covering. But he can hear them clearly.

He refuses to listen. But the words are just like sharp knives. They stung Rin like a poisoned-tipped arrow.

**_“He’s just like a monster.”_ **

Monster? Yea probably I’m a monster. I heard that for too many times, perhaps I really don’t deserve a friend. Why must I have such strength? They made me a monster. Damn it.

**_“He never change, I’ve tried my best to tutor him. But he refused to listen.”_ **

You liar. You didn’t even lay your eyes on me when you’re scolding me.

**_“I wonder why he’s here.”_ **

I would like to ask that too. Why am I here? I didn’t even deserve to stay here. But why I’m still here?

**_“He always hurt the others. He’s totally a villain.”_ **

They are the person who starts to hurt the others! Why don’t you ask me why I hurt them? Because they deserves it! I don’t want to hurt anybody too!

**_“But his brother is totally different than him. His brother’s smart”_ **

Yeah, Yukio’s way too better than me. I’m proud of him. Somehow I feel jealous, but he’s my brother, so I am really happy about this! He sure will get himself many friends!

**_“But his brother was not being well with the others. Somehow he’s just staying alone without talking to other.”_ **

**_“Maybe he’s a freak too. Like his brother. Probably their foster father was the same!!”_ **

****

HOW DARE YOU!

HOW DARE YOU SAY THEY ARE LIKE ME!

THEY ARE THE MOST PERFECT PERSON I’VE SEEN!

YOU LIARS!

YOU HYPOCRYTES!

YOU TWO DON’T DESERVE TO TALK ABOUT THEM!

 

Rin started to turn his head towards the gossiping teachers. His sharp glare of rage pointed at them. They felt like a prey that being stare by a predator. They felt chill goes down their spine. Rin’s action had made both teachers shut up. And Rin started to walk towards the direction where both the teacher stands. And immediately he walk pass through them and towards the main gate.

**_“Oh Gosh I thought he was going to beat us!”_ **

**_“Yeah! Same here! He’s freaking scary!”_ **

**_“I think we should stop talking. Maybe he overheard our conversation.”_ **

**_“I think so. He’s really a monster after all!”_ **

Without listening to the yelling of the principle to him and the last conversations of the teachers, Rin left the school in rage.

 

* * *

 

 

He felt his chest tighten in stress. It’s just like a flame burning deep inside his chest and his abdomen. Resist the urge to punch something; he let out a low growl to release the feeling deep inside him.

He felt helpless. He made his father and his brother being describes as a monster too.

He felt useless. He can’t do anything but left behind in the school. He can hardly learn anything from school as he was not capable with the procedure of school. He is the type that had to learn thoroughly to learn or to memorize a thing. But he can’t told that to any of his teacher because they are scared of him.

“I wanted to be good too…” clenching his lips, Rin resisted the feeling that made his eye filled with tears. “…But they don’t let me…”

“…Why?”

He doesn’t know what to do with his rage, his despair. He wanted to shout it out.

He doesn’t want to talk to his brother or his father about this. He doesn’t want to let his brother and his father to see him weak. He had to be strong for them. But he knows he can’t hold this anymore. He’ll collapse if he still hid his feeling with him.

What can I do…?

In that thought, he fixed his sight to the laptop lies on top of his brother’s desk.

There nobody in the monastery as they usually went out at this timing. It’s still early that even his brother won’t come back at this timing.

Looking at the laptop, Rin felt his eager to sing.

He wanted to sing. He wanted to sing out the frustration deep within himself.

He made himself a habit to sing every day since his brother helped him last month. He found that singing had become another favourite besides cooking for himself as he can really express his feeling without bothering someone else.

He needs an audience. He doesn’t want to just sing alone like an idiot.

He hopes someone can hear his voice deep within his heart.

And he decided to move on with his plan.

 

* * *

 

 

The space of the monastery remains its emptiness. The sound made by Rin whom was finding the recorder broke the silence inside the twin’s room.

After done placing the video recorder, Rin went to the spot he aimed.

He had chosen a song for him to sing. He decided to sing a song called ‘The Lost One’s Weeping’. It suits his current feeling well.

Making apologise “I may not sing well as I’m not really in a good mood, but please, don’t hate it. I just need an audience now.” Let Rin feels like an idiot. Should he really do this…? But when he think about singing all alone will make himself more like an idiot, he push away his doubt.

And he stared to turn on his radio that he slots in a CD not long ago.

And he started to sing as the intro of the song ends.

**_Distrust the cm of a blade_ **   
**_pierces a vein in the end_ **   
**_and this weak love flies out,_ **   
**_transforming even a Les Paul_ **   
**_into a deadly weapon_ **

For real, he nearly tried to commit suicide for a few times. But illusions about Yukio weeping in front of his grave and his father’s face in desperations made him stop from doing that. He doesn’t want his father and his brother to be sad.

**_It's not fiction_ **

****

**_I like math and science,_ **   
**but I'm really hopeless at language, so I hate it**   
**When I worried about which was correct,**   
**they both ended up wrong**

He really did like to study when he was still a child. But things changed when he found himself hard to catch up with the school’s procedure even he tried hard. So he started to give up on studies.

 

**_Today's homework is about me, with no individuality_ **   
**_Not too much or too little, not inconvenient, that's how I've been living_ **   
**_But then why is it that we sometimes- no, every day_ **   
**_say that we're sad,_ **   
**_and say that we're lonely?_ **

No one will know about him. He knew it. He felt lonely. No one will want to listen to him. No one will stand by his side.

**_Can you read this kanji on the blackboard?_ **   
**Can you read the mental images of that kid's heart?**   
**The one who stained that heart black?**   
**_Hey, who did it? Hey, who did it?_**

**_Can you solve this equation on your abacus?_ **   
**_Can you untie the circle around that kid's neck?_ **   
**_Are we really fine, remaining as we are?_ **   
**_Hey, what do I do? It doesn't matter anymore!_ **

As Rin sings out the lyrics, the thought that he had abandoned to somewhere of his heart started to reach his mind again. And he found that he started to lose control on his body. Tear started to slide down his cheek. Rin immediately tries to push the thoughts behind.

**_No matter how much time passes,_ **   
**_we'll be drunk in careless hypnotism_ **   
**_We've always taken shelter_ **   
**_in our unhealable pride_ **

**_As always, I can't solve yesterday's homework_ **   
**_Not too much or too little, not inconvenient, that's how I've been living_ **   
**_But then why is the lump in our chests_ **   
**_saying we want to disappear?_ **   
**_Saying we want to die?_ **

**_Can you read this kanji on the blackboard?_ **   
**Can you read the mental images of that kid's heart?**   
**The one who stained that heart black?**   
**_Hey, who did it? Hey, who did it?_**

**_Can you solve this equation on your abacus?_ **   
**_Can you untie the circle around that kid's neck?_ **   
**_Are we really fine, remaining as we are?_ **   
**_Hey, what do I do? Hey, what am I supposed to do?_ **

**_Can you recite the area-ratio formula?_ **   
**Can you recite your dreams from when you were a child?**   
**The one who threw those dreams down the drain?**   
**_Hey, who did it? You already know it, don't you?_**

**_When will you grow up?_ **   
**_What the heck does it mean to be an "adult" in the first place?_ **   
**_Who can I ask for help from?_ **   
**_Hey, what do I do? It doesn't matter anymore!_ **

****

****

He found that he’s still wanted to sing. One song is not enough for him to release his feeling. He found that he can hardly control his feeling when he started to sing out the lyrics that was really meaning something to him. He chooses another song he liked the most immediately as he says “I think I need more songs for now” to the recorder that’s still recording while he’s wiping away his tears. Rin likes to collect those uncovered soundtracks for himself to sing along. And Rin always stocks it in order inside a file. So it took not long for Rin to find out the song he wanted to sing.

 

 

 

**_Dark side in my heart is_ **   
**_a grief from the past that cannot be wiped away._ **   
**_It's alright, for I don't actually give a damn._ **   
**_I fired my blaster, and stretched out my hands._ **   
**_I've detached my life from myself,_ **   
**_so that I could gaze into the picture frame._ **   
**_However, in there, there's no proof of my existence,_ **   
**_and I can barely even protect my very self._ **

**_The path I've been avoiding and unable to pass has been like this for a while.  
And then, everyone has disappeared off it... _ **

**_Destiny can eat shit and die._ **   
**_If I can't achieve something, I will cry for pride._ **   
**_Ah, ah, ah, alone in my world,_ **   
**_an aria of love resounds._ **   
**_Things such as the distorted real world, twisted wishes,_ **   
**_or the ideals and tomorrows that are crumbling away,_ **   
**_they've become so tedious that I want to just throw them away._ **   
**_Good bye, precious life._ **

**_Dark cloud in my heart is_ **   
**_clearing up, and light is shining onto my path._ **   
**_Let's fight, without any fear,_ **   
**_with a double-edged sword brandished over our head._ **   
**_My life is not so lonesome,_ **   
**_for I am being guided by the voices of my comrades._ **   
**_With the proof of my existence reaffirmed,_ **   
**_I released my very self._ **

**_The path I've been avoiding and unable to pass has always been like this.  
Now my hesitation has completely dissipated... _ **

**_Destiny can eat shit and die._ **   
**_I will be a reckless daredevil and cry for pride._ **   
**_Ah, ah, ah, alone in my world,_ **   
**_I can hear an aria of love._ **   
**_Things such as the writhed world, wishes to be fulfilled,_ **   
**_or weak grumblings, I have already crushed them with my hands._ **   
**_The more I threw it away, the more precious it became;_ **   
**_it's my precious life._ **

Of course he’ll feel desperate. But He still had his brother. And he also had his father. He must be strong for them. He had to stand firm. He still can’t give up for now.

 

_**Destiny can eat shit and die.** _   
_**If I can't achieve something, I will cry for pride.** _   
_**Ah, ah, ah, alone in my world,** _   
_**an aria of love resounds.** _   
_**Things such as the distorted real world, twisted wishes,** _   
_**or the ideals and tomorrows that are crumbling away,** _   
_**they've become so tedious that I want to just throw them away.** _   
_**Good bye, precious life.** _

_**I will simply repaint my destiny.** _   
_**Even if I become covered in wounds, I'll try for pride.** _   
_**Ah, ah, ah, alone in my world,** _   
_**I still sing about love.** _   
_**Things such as the writhed world, wishes to be fulfilled,** _   
_**or the bond and the future we are starting to build up and consolidate,** _   
_**they are still precious in the end even when I have thrown them away.** _   
_**It's my precious life.** _

Actually Rin had attempted to sing these songs loud for so long. And the lyric of the songs amazingly fits his background story a lot. So he manages to memorize all the lyrics.

After feeling that he had enough singing, Rin stops the music. The room fell silent again. Rin closed the recorder after saying some closing words. And he started to turn on his brother’s laptop that remained lying on the desk. Yukio had given Rin permission to use his laptop. “You can feel free to use it whenever you want, Nii-san. But make sure to give it back to me if I wanted to use it.” This is what Yukio told him after knowing his brother had made singing and uploading it onto the internet as a habit.

The doubt that will he make things goes silly if he upload the video had begun to strike Rin once again. Rin pushed away all his doubt and worries behind his mind. He knows what he wants. He needs an audience for his trashed feelings. And he uploaded his song with a title ‘Loser’s World (The Lost’s One’s Weeping & in My World)’. He lean his back against the chair as he waited for the progress of uploading the video to complete. He lifted his head and place one of his hand on his nose, rubbing against it to relieve the slight sore in his head. The sense of weariness attacked Rin as he waited. The frustration had made him exhausted.

“Well, I guess probably someone will listen to it…” As he started to dozes off, Rin murmured to himself. And his eyelid becomes heavier and heavier as he lost his conciousness. The room remained silence. He decided to let himself to rest for a moment. As he place his head on the left space of the desk, his eyelid finally lid up together. “…Just let me rest for a while…”

 

 

* * *

 

               

“I’m Home…” Yukio went back home wearily, still finding his brother that’s missing since morning. Rin will usually hanging around with Yukio during the recess time. But Yukio didn’t see him around. So Yukio decided to goes to Rin’s classroom. And he found that Rin had skipped his class since morning. Rin rarely does that. Usually, Rin only skip afternoon classes. Did something happen to him?

“Oh? Rin didn’t come back with you again?” Shiro asked Yukio when he found Yukio’s coming back alone. A worry frown appeared on Shiro’s face. Normally when Yukio’s coming back alone, something will happen on Rin. Probably he’s fighting again somewhere.

“He skipped the morning classes too.” Pushing his spectacles back to his ideal position, Yukio claimed, “I’ll try to find him after I change my shirt.” Maybe he’s hanging around in shrine nearby, or goes to the playground where he usually hanging around.

“I’ll help too.” Shiro stood up from his chair on his leg, “I wonder where he is going…”

“Don’t worry, Nii-san won’t go too far from home.” Smiling, Yukio ensured his father by words, “And I don’t think he’s going to fight in these days.” He didn’t hear someone says that Rin’s beating someone else today. Normally if Rin hits a person, gossip will spread extremely fast.

Yukio went upstairs in a steady phase. And he stunned a little when he opened his room.

He found Rin. Rin’s falling asleep on his desk with his school suit, his head against the edge of the table, drooling a little, and his hands hanging on the air.

_So Nii-san’s skipping his class, and went back here…_

Frowning, Yukio decided to wake his brother up by pulling the chair away.

But before he touches the back of the chair, Rin started to murmur.

“Don’t… Insult… Yukio and My DAD… You Bastards…”     

Yukio frowned to what Rin had said in his fudge. Every time when thing comes to Rin, Yukio can only get hints from Rin’s sleep talk. So Rin met someone talking bad about himself and their father again.

“… Nii-san’s always like this…” frowning again, Yukio sighed slightly, “…Nii-san’s always put us in front of you yourself…”

_Shouldn’t Nii-san think more about himself? He cares about me and father more than himself. He cares about the others more than himself. Why?_

He can’t get answers from it. But he also doesn’t want Rin hurting himself to help the other. He can’t get back anything from the person he helped. The person that Rin helped fron getting rid of people bullying him before doesn’t even want to help Rin to proclaim that Rin did that for him. He remained silence instead of helping Rin back.

But Rin doesn’t care about it. Rin still feel great that he’d helped a person escape from the bullies.

“…Why do you care the other more than yourself? Nii-san?”

He knows that he won’t get the answer, and he never will.

Softly, Yukio moved his brother to his own bed, and covered him with a blanket.

And he found that his laptop was still on, so he decided to turn it off.

When he found what his brother had uploaded to his own profile, Yukio frowned a little. The name of the title marked at the latest video of his had made Yukio curious about it. But it wasn’t the time for him to listen to it. He still has to inform Shiro that Rin’s in home.

_Maybe I’ll try listen to it later_. Yukio made his decision. He shuts down the laptop and walk out the room, closing the door softly behind him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Uh actually I did tried to insert Ryuuji's part in this chapter too... but it was way too long...I found that if I put Ryuuji’s part too in this chapter, it would be around 6000 words I think? Even I myself got bored when I was rereading the whole chapter 3...so I decided to separate it into two chapters ;)  
> And hope I can done the rest of the Ryuuji's part soon! X3


	4. How Are You?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ryuuji observed something's different with Rin. So he decided to send him a message. He was helped by his friends to send the message. And Rin replies him after a while considering.

 

Timeline: The same day as Rin uploaded the latest video to the Mephynet.

 

* * *

 

 

The silence of the room had been interrupted by a rosette male.

“Oh my gosh, Bon! You have to listen to this!” The rosette male looks excited as he passes his media player to his friend with a blonde streak male besides him.

“How many times did I told you don’t call me by that name! Shima!” Ryuuji growled at his friend who sits beside him and giving him an excited look with irritation. “Anyway, what’s so fun?” Probably he’s listening to some porn-related thing again.

“You have to listen to this!” Ignoring his friend’s comment about the name he called, Shima put one side of his earphone on his friend’s ear “Can you guess this singer’s gender?” and he started to smirk as Ryuuji gives him an irritated look.

Ryuuji only took himself a few seconds to recognise the familiar voice that played in the media player. “Oh, he’s a boy,” Ryuuji pull the earphone and slid it back to the owner’s ear as he smirked back to the boy. “Well, guess what, I already know that singer. He’s Rin, the newbie on the Mephnet.”

“Eh?!” Shima whined in shock, “It’s not fun anymore!” He scratches his scalps with his both hands. “I only manage to trick Konekomaru this time!”

“I assume that with your pervert nature, the singer’s probably a female.” A bald male with spectacles on him shoot his word to the taller guy.

Normally Ryuuji was the last person among his friends who knows about a newcomer.

“Koneko, you’re so mean!” Shima whined bitterly, turning his head to the shorter guy sitting another side of the table.

“Moron,” Ryuuji push his friend’s head away from his sight; his main focus was still on his homework. “Just finish your homework before you want to chat, you still want to practice with us or not?”

“Aww sure I want, but it’s too boring if we keep focus on the boring stuffs in a long time…” Shima whined at the brunette – blonde male.

“It’s not even 15 minutes yet, you idiot.” Giving his friend a supercilious look, Ryuuji turn his friend’s head back to the desk with his empty hand, “just finish it fast so we can start our practice as soon as possible.”

Shima whined at his friend, “You’re too stren, like an old man!”

But he started to open his books and started to solve the questions in it.

Five minutes passed by in silence. In a sudden Shima pop up from his seat and started to rush to Ryuuji’s computer.

“Hey! Bon, Koneko, you have to listen to this!” Shima unlocked Ryuuji’s computer account with ease and started to move his fingers swiftly to move the cursor to the web browser as the computer boots and the programs starts. And he started to link to the same social network and started to type in some keywords on the search bar once the colourful “Mephinet” logo pops out and the features follows in seconds.

“Hey!” Ryuuji protested angrily at the rosette, “When did I give you the permission to log in my PC?”

“Bah, it doesn’t matter,” Shima waved his hand without looking at his irritated friend while he’s waiting for the page links to the search result, “You didn’t put any porn videos in it, so what’s the matter? And hey! You guys better check this out!”

And Shima started to click in the first result entitled ‘Loser’s World (The Lost’s One’s Weeping & in My World)’ as the page finish loading. And he clicks on the play button. His empty hand moved to his media player and press on the play/pause button.

“Oh, Bon! You’ve added the newbie as your friend!” his eyes widen in surprise as he click on the pause button and wait for the video to load. With his knowledge to his friend, Ryuuji won’t simply add a newbie as his friend. “I wonder if you know his latest video already.”

“Yea and it’s about one month ago,” Knowing which newbie Shima’s mentioning, Ryuuji head back to his homework, considering should he change his computer account’s password or not later, “That guy claimed that he wants to be friend with me. I still haven’t check for my account today.” Curious about what his friend talk to him, Ryuuji turn his head away from his homework again, “And anything with that guy?”

“Oh you can check this out!” And he started to resume the video. A slim shade appears at the video and stepping further away from the view. And the navy- haired teen starts to apologise claimed he just need an audience for his song before the plays the music.

Ryuuji observed something’s different with this video. The teen he’d already familiar with had turned the background music extremely loud this time. Normally the navy teen in the video won’t turn the music this loud. Noises appeared as the background music’s volume is beyond the microphone’s volume absorb limit. And the teen started to sing as the intro ends. And the surrounding of the video was quite dark, but not dark enough to let the environment vanish in sight.

“Wow he’s quite extreme…” Konekomaru commented at the volume of the background sound.

“…” Ryuuji keep his sight on the screen which the video’s playing without giving any comment.

The boy’s voice was trembling a little when he started to sing the first verse of the song. It is hard to notice when the background music is loud. But soon the teen had recovered his stable voice as he continues on to sing.

The trio had stunned at the newbie’s performance. They found themselves having hard time moving their eyes away from the screen. The slim boy that Ryuuji was familiar with had unveiled his potential to another stage. His body language had earned most of the audience’s eyesight. His voice was more captivating than before, even the trio can say that his performance had evolved to another level. Every lyric that the newbie sang was heavy enough for people to feel the impact of the lyrics.

_Well, he’s going really extreme this time…_

This is what in Ryuuji’s mind when he’s watching Rin’s performance.

He’s being really different this time. Ryuuji never saw Rin upload any rock song before. The previous video that the slim looking teen uploaded was pop songs, or maybe some soothing praise songs for Christian, or Catholic. Perhaps this guy’s changing his style. But Ryuuji noticed something small but shiny slid down from the boy’s cheek. The video is actually close enough to see some features of the teen as he had adjusted the recorder’s distance until it shows the upper part of his body. _Is that boy crying?_

And Ryuuji noticed another thing. The navy male’s wearing his school uniform. Probably it’s for his performance usage? And he looks over the upload time of the video. The ear-pierced male frowned as he noticed about the time. The video’s uploaded around 10.15am. The time’s still far too early for students to went back home at that timing. _So he just skipped his class to record this video?_

And he looked back to the video which is still playing despite the music ends.

Ryuuji found himself right when he found the navy teen started to wipe his cheek fiercely with his palm while he’s claiming he’ll be singing one more song.

And the music starts not long after.

He observed the way Rin sing carefully this time. He found Rin was trying to scream instead of singing something. But he had controlled his own emotion well.

And they remained silence until the video ends.

“Oh wow… I wonder if he had a limit for his skill…” Shima commented, “This one’s definitely way too better than his previous video… I can feel my Goosebumps fall all over the places…”

“Bon, you said you know this person right? I think you can ask him to become the main vocal for our band.” Konekomaru suggested to Ryuuji, “He really does have the potential for this field.”

“Yeah, and we’re still need at least one more person to form a band, right Koneko?” Shima agreed Konekomaru’s suggestion with glee, “Oh wow I really can imagine how our band can develop after his entrance.”

“… Well, he’s really quite talented, but I think he’s still not preparing for this yet.” Frowning, Ryuuji made a statement, “And I still don’t know anything about him yet.” His last interaction with the feminized-named teen male was almost one month ago. And he did found something. He only added two persons as his friend, which one of them are he himself, and the other one which had the same first name, which probably is the teen’s brother. Maybe he should reach out to the shy teen first.

“…Maybe I should try to get to know him better before asking him to join.” Ryuuji made his decision after making a short grunt.

“So why not do it now?” Shima smirked at his tough-looking friend, “I can help you to write better messages to him. You’re too stern that I scare you’ll miss that chance by the way you talk to him.”

“…” Ryuuji shoot a sharp glare to the teasing friend of his. But he can’t really deny it because the shy guy didn’t reply or talk anything since they last interact with each other. Maybe he shuld really ask someone for helping him about it. “… But first let us finish our homework. I’ll help you with your homework.”

“Aw man…” Shima let out a whine as he got back to his seat.

They took not much time to finish their homework because of Ryuuji’s helping hand. And they started to check on the conversations between the two guys.

“Bon, you’re too stern, really.” Shima rubbed the bridge of his nose after he saw what his old-man-like friend sent to the shy teen as Ryuuji mentioned. “If I’m the person you talk with, I really don’t even know what can I talk to forward this kind of message.”

“So how should I do? The flirt expert?” Ryuuji give his pevert natured friend a supercilious look as he blushed a little by the rosette male’s comment and insult him a little.

“You’re so mean! This is the art of conversation okay! You won’t find yourself a girlfriend if you’re stern as always, you stern old Bon!” Shima protested in a high tone, showing his irritation about the comment. He does liked to talk with girls, but his friends always think that he’s a pervert (well, he really is a pervert anyway). “Anyway, just try to type out what you want to type first.”

And Ryuuji started to move his fingers swiftly on the keyboard.

_“Hello again! It has been a month since us messaging with each other! I just watched your latest video a while ago with my friends. I have to say that you’re really amazing! Even my friends say that you can join in a rock band already! Anyway, do you mind me ask a few question about you yourself? You seem feeling not well when you’re recording the video. Is there’s anything that bother you much? It’s okay if you want to keep it by yourself.”_

“…Oh My gosh Bon,” The Rosette male give himself a facepalm after reading the message viewing on the screen which Ryuuji type not long ago. “At this rate you’ll going to miss a chance for us to get a new teammate.”

“What?” Bon glare at the so called ‘the flirt expert’ besides him, feeling embarrassed a little. He returned his sight back to the screen and continued to talk, “You’re not just looking at this message right? So teach me how to fix it.”

“Okay… So the first sentence is okay, but the second part I think you shouldn’t involve me and Koneko yet as you guys are not close yet either… And this part…”

And Shima started to give Ryuuji instructions to correct all his ‘false conversation skill’. And it ended up like this:

_Hello there! It’s one month already since we messages each other! I just watched your video a while ago. You’re as great as ever! And your latest video was amazing! Hmm I’m sorry but I’ve saw you crying in the video… Is there’s anything made you feel down? You said you want to be my friend right? It’s important that letting your friend know what’s happening on you, no matter if that’s a good thing or a bad thing. So would you like to tell me what’s going on?_

“… Are you sure this is going to work?” giving a suspicious look to his well - known flirting expert friend in rosette, Ryuuji asked. And he glances through the content of the message again before he continued on. “You’re not writing a letter to a girl …”

And Konekomaru joined them after ensuring all of his work done well. After reading all the messages, the short guy adjusted his spectacles as he commented on the message.

“I think it will work, Bon.”

“Are you sure?”

“I’m pretty sure about it. As you can see, Rin was a timid person, so just asking that guy to talk about something about he himself is quite impossible. This would be a better way to lead him to talk about himself.”

“Yea guess so…” Bon rubbed the back of his neck as he agreed Konekomaru’s statement, “But he’s not a girl although he’s shy…”

“Don’t ask too much if you want us to help, Bon!” Shima whined at Ryuuji with a annoyed look, “Look, I just make the conversation better by doing it that way! And maybe you have to thanks to me about this not long after!”

“…Fine,” Still doubt about Shima’s correction of his message to the boy on the other side of this world of digital, Ryuuji pressed the send button on the lower right corner of the dialogue box. “If this won’t work I’ll freaking kill you.”

“Just take it easy, I can sure it will work,” Shima smirked as he patted his tough looking friend’s back and reassure him, “right, Koneko?”

“Yeah, and glad you finally use your talent in a good way, Shima.”

“You’re so mean! Koneko!”

 

* * *

 

 

Rin found himself became small.

He found himself grabbing his father’s hand, while his father was carrying his younger brother on his back.

And he fell down suddenly. His grab loosen as he fell on the floor. He found his legs were heavy.

Rin saw his father walking away, without noticing his grip loosen.

And Rin started to call them to help.

_“Daddy? Yukio?”_

But they seems didn’t listen to his call. He started to lift his voice in a higher volume.

_“Daddy! Yukio! Wait for me!”_

His father and brother left him behind, ignoring his cry for attention.

And they finally vanished in the crowd.

And the sounds of crowd made him wanted to run away. But his legs were too heavy to move.

 _“Look! It’s the monster!”_ Someone started to notice Rin on the ground.

 _“Oh my, why is he being here?”_ Another sound appeared among the crowd.

 _“Probably his dad dumbed him.”_ Another voice appeared again in the crowd.

 _“Haha! Finally, this freak’s dad made a right decision!”_ A laughter before another voice joined in.

_“That’s right; it’s a burden for anyone who had a monstrous kid like him!”_

And the voice of laughter started to echo in Rin’s mind.

_“No, no! Daddy won’t leave me alone! And Yukio too! They won’t ever leave me alone!”_

_“You’re wrong, you little monster! They’ll leave you someday, because you’re a freaking monster!”_

“No!”

Rin woke up in shock. The sign of fear obviously displays on his face, with tears sliding down his cheek.

Rin found that he had a nightmare.

Finding himself lying on the bed, Rin turned his head to where the old clock hangs.

Looking at the old clock that is still functioning in diligence, the longer bold was pointing at the number seven and the shorter bold was pointing near the number five made him realised that he’d sleep for a long time.

“Ow man…” He found himself failed to wake up in time and went back outside before his dad and the other come back from their work.

He turned his head to the bed nearby him, looking at the bed where his younger brother lies.

His brother is still fast asleep. _At least he didn’t wake up by my tosh,_ the fact that he didn’t make his brother awake makes him relieve a little.

And Rin let his head back to the pillow to make himself fall asleep again. But the effect of the previous nightmare is still lingering in Rin’s mind. He can’t sleep.

So Rin decided to make himself a hot drink.

And Rin sneak out the room, worrying the noise will wake his sensitive brother up. And he sneaked to the kitchen and made himself a hot drink.

After he drinks up all the content in the mug, he sneaked back to the room of his after cleaning up all the things.

The room was dark. There is not even moonlight as the moon already sets in that particular timing. The only light source for the now dull room was the street light nearby.

Rin head back to his bed again, trying his best to make himself fall asleep again. But he’d slept for a long time. So his attempt to make himself falling asleep again failed.

Sitting on the bed, feeling his mind was active; Rin rubbed his scalps lightly with his hand.

“So what should I do for now…”

And his sight fixed on the already closed laptop.

“…Maybe I should check on with my account…”

And he sneaked to the desk lightly, scaring that he’ll make his brother awake.

And he turned on the laptop.

After entering the password he’s now familiar with, he pressed the enter button and waited the laptop to boot and running the programs.

And he clicks on the icon for a web browser and heads straight for the Mephynet link saved on his computer as soon as the laptop finished loading.

And he found he got a message.

Normally no one will messages Rin except for those who wanted Rin to try their new written song. But since he’s just a newbie, even those kinds of requests are rarely been found.

“Hmm?” surprised by the message, Rin clicked the message notification. And the page starts to jump to the link of the message.

The message is sent by Suguro Ryuuji, the cool looking web singer that he met one month ago.

Rin wasn’t sure what to say since the guy last messages him. He doesn’t know what he should say. He was scared of being hated. He wonders if he will bother the guy on the other side as he never got himself a friend before. He worries that if he said something wrong and the guy will leave him. So he didn’t message him anything since then.

Surprise again by the person who sent the message, Rin carefully read the message that sent by the guy he admire the most.

Rin did listen to his songs, and he knows that the guy who sent him this message do give concern to every of his video. He found that the cool looking guy was not just cool looking, but his talent on singing and playing the musical instruments are also amazingly cool. The dual-streaked guy always plays rock songs for his video. His voice really suits the style, he admitted. The cool looking guy really leads him to the world of rock songs and he had subverted his view on rock songs. He doesn’t like rock songs in the past because of its noisy nature. But the way the punk guy played the music had changed his view on the rock songs. His style of playing with the rock songs makes the entire music rhythmic yet not as noisy as the previous one he heard.

After reading the message that the guy on the other side sent him, Rin scratches his head a little, regretting that he made the decision of uploading the video onto the website.

“I’m so lame…” Rin murmured to himself. He didn’t expect his gestures will also being noticed by someone.

And the problem he’s facing now is should he really talk about what happened to that guy.

As the person said, friends should tell things to each other. But he wasn’t sure if it’s true or not because he didn’t ever had a friend before. He doesn’t want to risk telling someone a thing and scare someone off because of his secret.

He wanted to ignore it. But he found that if he ignores the serious guy on the other side, he’ll probably miss a chance to meet a new friend for himself.

Taking risk of scaring someone off by telling what’s going on with him, or ignores the message and loses a chance for meeting a friend that probably would be his only friend in his lifetime?

Rin choose the first option after a long time of consideration.

_It’s better than never taking a risk. I rather am being dumb after letting him know all my problems then losing a chance just like this._

Murmured to himself, Rin started to fly his fingers across the keyboard lightly.

****

_Hello there… Thank you for your appreciation, I do really appreciate it. I was being lame in that video, and you caught me, it was pretty lame isn’t it?_

_Yes, there’s really something that bothered me. And it does bother me for a long time. I’m not sure that if I made a right decision or not as I really do not own a friend since I was small. It’s all because of my monstrous strength._

_I always hurt people since I was small because they always laugh at my brother. And they always do bad things to my brother. So I always hit them. But with my strength, it always leads to a disastrous result. So they always call me as “the monster”._

_I can even hit my dad down when I was small, so even the teachers in the school scared of me too. I thought time would make me become normal, but it didn’t. My monstrous strength grows with me._

_My dad told me that I should use my strength on doing kind things. I did try but it always ended up with failure. I still made people frighten to my strength. And I always lose control. I always hit people when I found a person was doing a bad thing._

_People always talk about me when I’m not really around. They talk about me very softly and they think I can’t hear them, but I do hear what they are talking about. My senses are abnormal than the others too. I tried my best to ignore them but the words are always as hurt as ever._

_Sometimes they will ask among themselves why do I exist. Sometimes they talk bad things about me. I can stand these kinds of comments although it hurts. But sometimes they talk bad things about my brother and my father too. I felt angry because I wan’t able to make them stop talking about my dad and my brother. I feel worthless. I made them being suspected as a monster too._

_I tried my best on study, but I failed.I tried to be a good person as they think, but I failed._

_But my brother is different. My brother’s the most perfect person I’ve seen. He’s cares about me although I don’t deserve it. And my dad too. He loved me even I don’t deserve it. He raised me up even I’m a burden to him._

_So I won’t let any of them talk bad about them. Not even once._

_It’s my fault to make people think like that._

_I don’t even think that I deserve to live in this world._

_I know it was terrifying to know what’s going on with me. For real, I feel really great when you say you’re willing to become my friend. But I don’t think I deserve it. If you like you can leave me alone after reading this long message about my problems, really. I’m used to be alone. I hope that what I said won’t bother you much. But really thank you that you said that you’re willing to be my friend. If you’ve changed your mind after reading this, would you mind to help me to keep this secret too? I really don’t want any other people to know about this, especially my dad and my brother. I had to be strong for them. I can’t let them saw the weak side of me._

_Sincerely,_

_Rin Okumura._

 

Rin pressed the sent button once he had finished typing his message. He doesn’t even dare to check what he’d typed. And he closed the web browser immediately and turns off the laptop not long after.

Founding the sky’s starting to brighten, he glances through the wall and finds the old clock hanging near one of the corner of it. It’s already 5am in the morning.

“Oh wow…” Amused by how early he wakes up and how energetic himself is by this timing, Rin rubbed the back of his neck and murmured, “I think I’ll prepare breakfast for them today…” And he started to leave his warming room and heads to the kitchen to prepare for making a breakfast for himself and his family.

 

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh wow finally I manage to finish the chapter four! *cheer*  
> And I think I would like to slow down my phase as I really didn’t sleep for two nights for drilling my empty head for just one chapter of a novel… I’m really exhausted by the way…  
> And I didn’t even manage to insert song for this chapter… *shock*  
> Oh gosh… and I still manage to make this chapter 4000++ words… I hope you guys won’t feel bored when reading this novel!  
> And thanks again for those who like my story and I do really appreciate you guys’ support! *hug*  
> The title… Oh my I always manage to give a wierd title where Ryuuji takes places…  
> (Ryuuji: What the hell is this? Me: I don't know... I really don't know what I'm doing... Ryuuji: Baka.)Anyway, there’s no songs related with this chapter… *dies*  
> I wonder why…  
> But I promise I’ll try to make songs possible on the next chapter! X3


	5. Gratitude

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ryuuji read the message sent by Rin. He's being quite distracted by Rin's message. He asked his friends about Rin's situation and got help by his friends to send a reply back to Rin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First of all...
> 
> REALLY SORRY FOR THE LATE UPDATE!!!! HONTOU GOMENASAI!  
> I TRIED MY BEST TO FINISH THE 5TH CHAPTER IN ONE WEEK BUT I FAILED!  
> SORRY FOR THOSE WHO'RE WAITING FOR MY UPDATE FOR MY STORY!!!
> 
> AND ACTUALLY I’VE MADE MYSELF ANOTHER DETAILED SETTING FOR THIS SERIES OF AU OF BLUE EXORCIST… THANK GOD THAT I DON’T HAVE TO CHANGE THE FRONT PART OF MY STORY!
> 
> Again, thank you for those who had supported my work through Kudos, favourites and follows and reviews and stuffs, I’d really appreciate you guy’s support! *hug*  
> And hope you guys will enjoy this chapter of this story as well! *hug*  
> And, no songs as well for this chapter! Hope you guys won’t feel boring as well XP (being smacked)

 

* * *

Ryuuji got up earlier than usual.

Rubbing one side of his eyes, Ryuuji look outside the windows above him, he found that the sky’s still dark. Ryuuji shifted his hand that he used to rub his eyelid and grabbed his alarm clock that placed on the head of his bead. The number combinations 4:45 viewed in a vivid red on the digital screen of the clock. Ryuuji’s eyebrows lifted a little in amusement while he puts back his alarm clock after turning the alarm off even before it rings. His self-disciplined conscious doesn’t allow him to sleep after he wakes up even if he’s early awakening. So it’s a waste of time for him to stay on the bed. After stretching his body a little to refresh himself, he went off his warm, comforting bed immediately.

After the series of refreshing rinse to begin his day, he still find himself time before he goes for his jogging session as the sky’s still dark even the sun’s starting to climb up from the horizontal line of the earth and normally his mother won’t allow him to go out too early. So he turned on his computer.

After the same actions as he waits the pc to run the program and stuffs, he was surprised by the early message he got when he logged in his Mephynet account. It was sent by Rin. And he went amazed again by the time Rin sent the message. Ryuuji’s eyebrow lifted as he was amazed by how early the timid guy wakes up. _So he did wake up earlier than me._ But he’s now offline. In his thought that maybe that guy had gone anywhere, he started to read the message sent by the timid raven.

Ryuuji’s eyebrow wrenched together as he finished the entire message sent by the timid guy. He frowned at the words that the weak – looking guy had sent to him. Leaning one on his ankle against the chair on his back and one of his hands pressing against his chin, He started to judge the overall message he’d received.

Ryuuji will definitely choose to not believe the slim guy’s word if he haven’t met the situations before. He’d met too many times of those slim but yet strong guys or even girls around for years because of his background. And they had faced the same situation as this timid guy in their childhood because they are the mix offspring of demon and human, which means they had demons blood and ability despite they looks more like a human. But they know why they had the power, so they don’t bother to have those names.

But this guy’s different. He appears to have the same ability as those people he’d met before. But he failed to figure out why he had those things that normal people won’t have. Maybe his brother’s facing the same problem as the timid boy somehow mentioned that his brother’s always being bullied during their childhood. And it seems that guy’s always the person who stands out for his brother, but always make things worse because of his ability. But things are getting too complicated as he tried to figure out that guy’s actual situation. It’s somehow like there’s something missing when he tried to cover up the other missing clue.

Pushing off all his thoughts behind as he finds out it’s already time for his daily workout session, he decided to reply the message later and turn off the computer before he leave the room. “Maybe I should ask someone about this…” As murmured before he closes the door behind him.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

And after a bunch of workout routine and taking a bath and having a breakfast and stuffs, Ryuuji went to school along with Shima and Konekomaru.

Ryuuji didn’t pay attention to what Shima and Konekomaru chatting around (but mostly they always chat anything they’ve found, and mostly about their band.) as he’s thinking who should he reach for his unsettled question until Shima tapped on Ryuuji’s shoulder to get his attention.

“Hey! Bon! Are you listening to me?”

“…Hmm? Anything?” Ryuuji frowned in response and turned his head to his right and look at his rosette friend who pulled him out from his mind.

“What’s wrong with you? You look older than before with your face crumpled together.” Shima teased Ryuuji with a relaxed grin on his face and he started to stretch his stern- looking friend's face with both of his hand.

“Hey!” Tapping away Shima’s hand in irritation and give him a supercilious look at the same time, Ryuuji protested in a low growl, “Take your hands off!”

“Oh come on,” Shima laughed a bit at his always fierce – looking friend, “And what’s with you? Would you like to share it out?”

“It’s nothing…” Ryuuji stopped a while for thinking a thing. Maybe he should ask them for it. And he found that it was a good choice as they already know _this guy_ ’s existence before he continues to talk and recover his pace, “It’s about the guy you helped me for the message yesterday…”

And he told what happened on Okumura – kun, the guy who looks timid and his friends frowned too at the statement given by Ryuuji.

“Well,” Konekomaru started to talk first, “It seems that Okumura-kun has the bloodline of demon but he still doesn’t know about it.” And he pushed his spectacles once before he continues, “Maybe so does his family member. I remember that there are some cases which some of the family who has a bloodline with demon doesn’t know they have it until they seek help from our temple.”

“Oh you reminds me about that,” Ryuuji patted his head as he recall about a case that happened a long time ago, which a family seek for the temple’s help despite their temple’s condition and they finally finds out they have the bloodline of demon. “So maybe we can tell him about it.”

“But will it seem too weird for Okumura-kun?” Shima asked Ryuuji in doubt, “Because not all people believe in this kind of stuffs, even this is the real thing. I think maybe Okumura-kun doesn’t believe in this kind of things too.”

“Hmm…” leaning his palm behind his neck, Ryuuji frowned again by his problem again. What can he do for cheer that miserable guy up? He’d never seen someone being low spirited. Shima and Konekomaru always being high spirited and cheerful when he’s around and he’s being really slow in this kind of emotion stuffs, so he had no idea for what can he do when someone’s low.

“Maybe we should gather up together again after the school time for solving your problem,” Shima suggested as he smirked at his serious – looking friend, “So see you later, Bon!” And he rushes towards the school’s main gate immediately and chase up a girl and start flirting.

“Urgh…Forget it,” realising he’s already in front of the school and irritated by Shima’s action despite he’s a monk too, Ryuuji whined a bit with a supercilious look and started to walk towards the school’s main gate along with Konekomaru.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

And after a long day of classes, they finally walk back to their home together. Shima and Konekomaru went to Ryuuji’s room as promised.

After finishing their homework, they started to gather up in front the computer.

“Hey,” Shima teased Ryuuji in glee, “It seems you care about this Okumura-kun so much. I wonder what’s with you? You didn’t even pay attention in your homework, weirdo.”

He noticed that Ryuuji’s not even really checked his homework after he finish it in a fast pace, and it’s really rarely be seen besides he got inspirations for his new song.

“Ryuuji also didn’t fully pay attention in the class either,” Konekomaru agreed with Shima’s statement. “I wonder if there’s a sign of the doomsday.”

“…Shut up.” Ryuuji protested with a slight blush on his face. “…Anyway, I admit that I acted really weird today…”

Frowning as he recall the whole day in the school, he’d never felt school’s a long day for him except today. He tried to stay focus in class but he always ended up thinking what he should do for the miserable guy on the other side of the internet as he knows the feeling being called names.

“…Because he’s just like me before the temple regained.”

He was once called as “The children of the cursed temple” and the words really hurt him a lot. He knows the feeling of being alone despite he had Shima and Konekomaru with him all the time. What he cares most about is that guy really gets hurt by the name, just like the old self of him before the reputation of the temple of his family was rebuilt after the rumour that the Satan was defeated by the Paladin by using their temple’s heirloom seven years ago. The fact that why does the Paladin has their heirloom was still an unsolved mystery, but yet the fact makes their temple’s reputation regain and the name of “The cursed temple” as no longer being called. But yet Ryuuji still remember how hurt it is being rejected, and forced to be alone for having this name.

He wanted to comfort him as he knows how the boy over the internet feels.

“…And I wanted to help _that guy_.” Ryuuji claimed in determination as he tighten his fist on the keyboard.

“… I guess you still need my help then~” Shima smirked as he know what’s the though looking guy’s thinking, “Because you’re too stern for these kind of talking.”

“Maybe I can help too,” Konekomaru said, “to avoid Shima from flirt this innocent guy.”

“Oh my gosh Koneko do you know what you’re saying?” Shima looked at Konekomaru with a terrified look, “do you think I’m that kind of person?”

“Nope, but with your nature I’m afraid that you’ll flirt him instead of helping Bon.”

“I hate you, Koneko!”

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

“I’m home…”

Rin went back home with Yukio today. There’s no sign of frustration or sadness on his face but he looks exhausted.

“Oh, welcome home, boys.” Shiro give both of his sons a warm smile as he saw his sons went in. “Dinner will be ready soon, so don’t be too slow for it!”

“Okay~” both Rin and Yukio replied as they walks up the stairs and went to their room.

“Oh I’m so tired~~~~” Rin whined as he throws himself on his bed after he changed his shirt to a comfortable one. After a while he sat up again and asked Yukio for his laptop as he recalled something he had done in the morning.

“Okay but don’t use it for too long as the dinner will be ready soon!” Yukio reminded Rin as he grabbed his towel and shirts for exchange and went to the wash room.

Turning on the laptop in a fluent speed and waited for the computer to boot and log in and stuffs, He quickly clicked on the Mephynet link and hope there’s a way to delete his message as he really regrets that he had sent the message without rechecking it. But as the link leads to the net, he found himself received a message. It’s from the guy whom he sent the message to.

“Oh shit …” hoping that he didn’t write something wrong, he quickly opened the message box and started to read.

 

_“Hello there!_

_Actually it’s okay! Its okay for you to express your real feeling and it’s not lame, really. You can just tell what you feel and we’ll appreciates it as long as it wasn’t expressed in an extremely wrong way like suicide or something bad._

_I’m sorry to hear about your story… Actually I do know what it feels of having name called. It’s really hurt isn’t it? And I know how it feels of being lonely. But I can really tell you, the hard time will really over. Just be patient and really do something for it in determination. I can sure you’ll be loved by the others when you try your best to change._

_From your story, actually it’s okay. I know you’re trying to protect your brother from being hurt by the others. You just don’t know how to control your strength by the way. Actually I had met a lot of people like you. They had the same experience as you had when they are strong. But they didn’t bother much as they know it’s actually a gift to them. Maybe you’ll find it’s hard to accept it, but it’s really a gift of having stronger senses than the others. And I can sure you’re not a monster, as you have a heart like the normal human, just like me, and your beloved brother and father. So you’re worthy to be trusted and to be loved. Just believe in yourself. From their experience, they says that physical exercises really helps them a lot in controlling their strength. So maybe you can give it a shot too! Maybe just take some free time and do exercises in the morning will do too!_

_You said you always failed to use your strength in the right way, but I feel that you just have to be faithful to yourself. It’s really okay to be angry when someone’s doing the wrong thing. Actually everyone will feel that too, but not all people are willing to stand out like you. I had to say that you’re a really brave and kind person. I really think this kind of heart of yours should be reserved. But just have promise yourself to calm down before you act, okay?_

_It’s okay if you really can’t catch up with the subjects in school, I know you’re not stupid because you still manage to think a lot, isn’t it? It’s just your talent are different than the others. It’s okay for being slow in study, but just don’t simply give up, okay?_

_And again, you must realise that you’re a special person. You’re really much more special than the other ordinary people. So just accept yourself and have a look. You’re really a granted person as you can sing really well. And I can sure your family are proud of you too. So you’re worthy to live in this world. And I’m really happy to listen what you’re facing. And I do really thanks that you’re willing to open yourself to me, your friend. It’s really my pleasure to meet you. I won’t run away as I had promised to be your friend, and you’re a really special friend to me. Again, it’s my pleasure to have you as my friend!”_

 

Rin found his eyes filled with warm fluid after reading the message he received. Tears started to fall down his cheek uncontrollably. He tries to wipe his tears away but he failed as the new ones always manage to cover up. He felt something’s filled his heart to the max and beyond the level of his control. He felt full in his heart despite his tears went out from his eye. He knows he’s not sad, but he just can’t control his tears from falling. He clenched his lips slightly and covered his mouth with both of his palms to prevent himself from sobbing.

And Yukio that had done bathing went out from the wash room at the exact timing.

“What happened, Nii - san?” Yukio was shocked by the scene. He’d hardly seen his brother crying. Even the time he saw his brother’s crying was always the time that he pretended to sleep in the night. But this one’s seems different than the last time.

“It… It’s nothing…” Rin attempted to wipe off his tears that keep falling from his cheeks again. The new ones manages to cover up, “looks like I had finally found myself a friend, a really kind friend… I don’t know why but my tears can’t stop falling although I’m not sad at all…”

“That’s called as touched, Nii-san,” Yukio went forward and embraced his twin brother with a soft, warming curve on his lips. He felt his brother shivered slightly under his embrace. He tapped his brother’s back as soft as possible, “It’s okay; it’s a good feeling… So just let it out as you like.”

A warm feeling races over Rin’s body and his tear starts to flows out in more strength. And his body starts to tremble fiercer. And he started to cry on his twin brother’s shoulder. Being loved by a friend is a great feeling. That’s what in Rin’s thought in that moment.

After a while to manage himself to calm down from the excessive feel, Rin softly moved away from his brother’s embrace and started to wipe away the tears left on his cheek, “Sorry, Yukio… I was being lame again today…”

“It’s okay Nii-san,” Yukio give his brother a warm smile, “It’s good to be by your side, especially when you need a person to talk with. It’s good to see you got yourself a good friend, Nii-san.”

“The Dinner’s almost ready, boys!” A familiar voice reached them from the ground floor. “Can you guys come and help us to put the dishes on the table so we can start it fast?”

“Okay I’m coming!” Yukio replied immediately.

“I’m going too!” Rin followed quickly but Yukio pressed Rin down back to his seat in front of the laptop.

“?” Rin looked at Yukio with a curious look and blinked a little.

“Nii-san, the thing you should do now is to reply your friend’s message.” Yukio give him a warm grin and tapped his twin brother’s shoulder, “I can help with the dishes, so just relax and reply your message, Nii-san! Or not the feeling will fade away quicker than you think!”

“Oh okay…”Blinked again in Yukio’s statement, Rin nodded and turn his body while adjusting his seat to the desk where the laptop lies as Yukio went downstairs and help the priests for the dishes.

_Really thanks for the message…Really. It really touches me a lot… I’ve never felt so… touched as my brother says since the monastery I stayed celebrates me and my brother’s birthday a long time ago…And really thanks for willing to be my friend… I really appreciate that… Thank you… And I’ll try my best to work on with my strength and studies… Really thank you for willing to read my messages and still willing to reply my message…_

_And you said that there are many more people who faced the same thing as I do… This really makes me feel happy as I finally feel that I’m not all alone! Maybe I should try to do the same way as they did! And you’re right! I should be more confident in myself! I’ll try my best to control my temper in the future! And thanks again of willing to be my friend! You’re my first friend ever, so maybe you can find me too if you have a problem! I’ll will to listen! And may I call you as Ryuuji? Your name’s really cool! You can call me as Rin as well!_

_Sincerely,_

_Rin Okumura._

And Rin sent the message after he check his message and turn off the laptop and ready to go downstairs to check what he can help. And his motion freeze as he saw the priests including his father were standing outside his room and inspecting him.

“Why are you guy’s standing out there and looking at me like this?” Rin protested with a bright red on his face.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And I didn’t insert song again for this chapter… *facepalm*  
> It’s really not suitable to put songs inside this chapter….(from what my instinct told me)  
> Uh… still, hope I can make my story as interesting as well… Maybe I should do a short chapter for Yukio’s view for this chapter in the coming chapter? I should really ask for you guys’ favour for posting your view on the comment and I’ll see if my idea was accepted or not… I don’t wish my story went too long and boring… 
> 
> And if you really reads carefully, maybe you’ll being confused by what in Ryuuji’s thought before he writes the message to Rin… Actually it’s my idea of the background story of the overall AU for this series… It would be sorta complicated, but I’d tried my best to simplify it. So catch on to know what’s going on with the Satan’s being defeated stuffs! XD(being smashed by Satan)


	6. Untold Truth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yukio's POV for the Chapter 5. And some spoiler for this story.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gomen for the late update! *blushes*  
> Currently drawing for many things and I just forgot to maintain my fic’s progress… *blushes*  
> Uh you guys can go for my DeviantART to have a look for my works in this week…*blushes*  
> http://musicsoul95.deviantart.com/  
> And still, no songs for this chapter XP  
> And thanks again for those who had supported my work! I really appreciates the support you guys give to me!   
> And I’ll try my best to avoid delay works! *blush*  
> And this chapter’s quite short though…

* * *

 

Yukio know Rin’s exhausted even during the recess time, but Rin did tried his best to stay awake when he joined his brother during the time they have their bento, amazingly prepared by Rin as he said he just woke up earlier than he expected. Normally his elder brother won’t be awake before he does. And from his elder brother’s sleep talk few days ago, Yukio was quite worry about his brother’s early awakening state.

_Was Nii-san bothered by something but he doesn’t want to tell?_

_Did Nii-san found out the secrets about our identity already?_

But it doesn’t seem like as he knows his brother so much. If he’d ever finds out his own secret, he would probably just burst out to his father and started to have a quarrel with him for what they had hidden from him, even they do this to protect him from any trouble.

_I’m worried, Nii-san…_

Give his brother a wary look on his back while they’re heading back to their classroom, Yukio frowned as the feeling of worry fills up his heart.

_Why don’t you try to tell me what’s going on?_

_Don’t always try to fight alone… Nii-san…_

But he didn’t reach his words to his brother as he knows he’s doing the same thing that Rin does with his father.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

“I’m home…”

Rin exclaimed with an exhausted expression on his face once they steeped in the entrance of the monastery.

“I’m home, father.” Yukio make himself followed his brother to their room.

“Oh, welcome home, boys.” Shiro look at them with a warming smile. “Dinner will be ready soon, so don’t be too slow for it!”

“Okay!” Rin and Yukio replied instantly as they continue to head to their room to prepare themselves for their dinner.

“Oh I’m so tired~~~~” Rin whined as he throws himself on his bed after he changed his shirt to his favourite T-shirt and Shorts while Yukio took his towel from the closet and started to put his effort on searching his shirt he wanted to wear for tonight.

“Oh hey! Yukio!” Rin suddenly jumped up from his bed and rushed to the laptop as if he’d remember something important. Rin asked Yukio for the permission while Yukio turned to his brother with a slightly curious look on his face. “Can I borrow your laptop for a while?”

Rin’s somehow blushing, as he’d suddenly reminded something that embarrasses him a lot and he’s trying to hide it from his younger brother. But Yukio ignored the features sub-consciously as he’s busying of choosing his outfit for tonight’s activity.

“Okay!” As soon as he found himself a black striped T-shirt and a pair of black track pants, he grabs his towel along with the chosen outfit and started to head to the washroom, “But don’t use it for too long as the dinner will be ready soon!”

“Okay!” The last thing Yukio noticed is Rin turned on his laptop with a fluent speed before his vision was blocked by the hallway’s wall.

After cleansing himself from the tiredness came from the tiring whole day classes and worrying about the moles issue on his body when he put on his outfit in front the mirror, Yukio walked out the washroom and head to their room.

And Yukio’s shocked by the view in front of him as he turned his side to the entrance of the room.

Rin’s crying.

Tears slides down Rin’s slightly reddened cheek. His body’s quivering slightly from his uncontrollable emotion. He’s trying to wipe away his tears but his attempt failed as the new tears manages to stain his cheeks again.

“What happened, Nii-san?” Shocked by the scene, words slipped out from Yukio’s lips.

A short but strong shiver appears on the figure in front of him as if he’s shock by the sudden presence of his brother.

“It, It’s nothing…” Yukio saw Rin’s trying to wipe away his tear, but his attempt failed as the new ones manages to stain his cheeks again immediately after he wipe away the old ones. Rin sobs as he continued to talk, “looks like I had finally found myself a friend, a really kind friend… but… I don’t know why but my tears just can’t stop falling… although I’m not sad at all…”

Realising his brother’s situation, Yukio let out a quiet sigh in relief, and he started to move forward and gently hugged his brother.

The now weak looking teen seems shocked by the sudden embrace and tries to escape subconsciously. “It’s okay, Nii-san,” Yukio starts to pat his brother’s back to give his brother comfort, “This feeling is called as touch, it’s a good feeling that won’t hurt you.”

“Just let it out as you like, Nii-san.”

And Rin starts to collapse in his outrageous feeling and starts to sob violently in Yukio’s shoulder.

After a while crying, Rin finally calmed down in Yukio’s arm.

“I never felt that happy, Yukio…I, I feel really happy that finally I’m not rejected by someone…”

“I know, Nii-san…” Yukio continued to pat his now weak brother’s back as he tries to calm his brother down a bit. “Glad that you are willing to show it to me…”

His brother’s state made him feel relieve too.

At least he still has the feeling of being hurt, and being touched.

So that means that Rin is still a human.

At least he still never lost his human side of him after the hellish dreadful event seven years ago.

At least, he’s still a human…

_I’ll protect you from anything like ‘Tosan did, Nii-san._

_Like how you protect us before._

_I won’t let you being hurt from anything again._

Separating himself from his brother, Yukio fixed his sight to his elder twin brother. And his eye glances to his brother’s left ear before he fixes his sight back again to his brother’s face as he notices something.

The earring on Rin’s left ear glitters faintly. It’s not too obvious but it shines in a faint blue.

“Sorry, Yukio… I was being lame again today…” wiping away the remaining tears that still staining on his cheeks, Rin apologises to his brother with a slight frown on his face.

“It’s okay Nii-san,” Resist the urge to frown, Yukio give his brother a slightly disguised, but still sincere smile, “It’s good to be by your side, especially when you need a person to talk with. It’s good to see you got yourself a good friend, Nii-san.”

“The Dinner’s almost ready, boys! Can you guys come and help us to put the dishes on the table so we can start it fast?” Shiro started to call them from the ground floor.

“Okay I’m coming!” Yukio replied immediately. He needs to report to his father about what he’d saw from his brother.

“I’m going too!” Rin stands up quickly. Instead of letting his brother follow him to the kitchen, Yukio pressed Rin down back to his seat in front of the laptop.

“?” Rin looked at Yukio with a curious look and blinked a little.

“Nii-san, the thing you should do now is to reply your friend’s message.” Yukio reminded Rin about the message thing as he gently tap his twin brother’s shoulder, “I can help with the dishes, so just relax and reply your message, Nii-san! Or not the feeling will fade away quicker than you think!”

It would be really fast for Rin to recover his positive feeling to neutral as he had a strong bloodline with the Devil. The most terrifying Devil in Gehenna.

“Oh okay…”Blinked again in Yukio’s statement, Rin nodded and turn his body while adjusting his seat to the desk where the laptop lies. Yukio went downstairs and help the priests for the dishes.

“Oh?” Shiro saw there’s only Yukio that comes down from their room. “What’s going on with Rin?”

“Oh, ‘tosan,” Yukio give his father a serious look to his father, “I just saw Nii-san’s earring glitters…But he had not lost control of himself…”

“…” Shiro frowned as he heard Yukio’s statement.

As the space fall silence as all priests look at Yukio, went shock with Yukio’s statement, Shiro looked at his right palm.

There’s a ring that owns the same pattern with Rin’s earring. But the Jewel embed on the middle of the ring did not shown any signs of light on it.

“…Maybe there’s something wrong with this device,” Shrugging his own shoulders, Shiro gently pat his son’s shoulder and continue to talk, “So why’s Rin not here?”

“Oh,” Shocked by Shiro’s reaction, Yukio replied immediately, “Nii-san’s replying his friend’s message in the room…”

“What?” The monastery’s kitchen turned into a noisy environment suddenly as they had heard something’s quite impossible for them to listen, and that’s the last thing they can imagine.

Rin’s replying a message.

To his friend.

“Rin got himself a friend?” Shiro’s brow lifted in amusement as he asked Yukio.

“Yes, ‘tosan.” Yukio give his father a wide grin on his face.

“Oh gosh!”

“Oh glad he’d finally got himself a friend!”

“So what’s the person’s name?”

“Oh wow when will he bring his friend to our monastery?”

Suddenly the monastery kitchen’s bustling with noise as the priests starts to ask Yukio questions. They had never been heard that Rin got himself a friend. And that’s quite impossible for Rin to get a friend because of his reputation. They were happy for Rin.

“Okay guys!” Shiro stopped them from asking further questions by clapping his hands to attract the priests’ attention; wide grin appears on his face, “Well, Yukio can’t afford to answer too many questions in the same time! So, Yukio, how did Rin find himself a friend?”

“Nii-san met the person through the Mephynet, the latest social website that created for those who likes to share their music one month ago… I updated his sound to the internet and Rin just started to get interested with the network ass I showed him the replies he got from the video…”

And Yukio started to explain how Rin met Ryuuji and how they become friends.

“Oh! No wonder Rin just keep singing all the time during this month!” One of the priests clapped his hands, his brows lifted as he realised something, “So it’s because of the network huh!”

“So the person’s name was Suguro Ryuuji…” Shiro nooded his head, reminding himself about the mentioned name stated as Rin’s friend, “I see… Let me have a look!”

And Shiro started to sneak to the hallway upstairs.

“Eh? ‘tosan?” Yukio was shocked again by Shiro’s action as Shiro and the priests started to gather outside of their room and they started to stalk Rin that’s still struggling to type his reply to Ryuuji. “What are you…?!”

“Shh! don’t let him hear us!” Shiro covered his son’s mouth and give him a stare, “This is a golden chance for us to witness how he interacts with his first friend!”

“He’s writing message!” one of the priests shocked as he saw Rin started to type fluently on the keyboard, “Oh my god I really can’t imagine that he can use words to make himself a friend!”

All gathered at the door at look at the back of the raven teen.

The light from the laptop screen refracted as it hits the frame of the raven teen.

The hallways hold their breath as they are observing Rin. The time flows by and suddenly Rin shut the laptop off as he had done typing his message and sent it to his new friend. And he suddenly turned his body towards the door. His jaw dropped as he saw the priests along with his father are standing outside his room, stalking him. And he saw Shiro holding a video recorder on his hand.

The raven teen suddenly went flustered as redness climbs up his face. He protested to the priests loudly as he feels embarrassed.

“Why are you guy’s standing out there and looking at me like this? And what are you holding, old man?!”


	7. Pride

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ryuuji just made a song three weeks after the last major conversation with Rin.  
> He did it for Rin, and he realised that he made it for himself too.  
> Alternative scene along the chapter, and there's some gaining phase for this story.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the late update again! XP  
> Actually I was struggling around with the plot’s detailed setting on this week…  
> And I’m really struggling about should I insert the lyrics in this chapter as well…  
> Well, glad that I made it X3
> 
> AGAIN, the characters are not belongs to me. Neither the songs. And the Lyrics. I just modified a little. I made this fiction without any commercial purpose.
> 
> And I got my first bookmarker for my story! Thaanks for your support, really!  
> And I got myself the 17th Kudos already when I realise!  
> Really thanks for you guy's support!  
> I'll try my best to let this story become more interesting! 
> 
> \--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
> Informations of song used:  
> Title and song used in this chapter: Core Pride by UVERworld  
> (about the demo, you guys can find it by using this link! ;D)  
> UVERworld - CORE PRIDE Instrumental  
> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sy59oR4aP8s
> 
>  
> 
> \--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
> 
> Timeline: One month after Chapter 5 and 6’s timeline. (Sorry for not setting up the detailed timeline XP)

 

* * *

 

 

_Hello there! ^^ It’s me again! ^^ It has been two months since we first messagin’ with each other! Well, it’s me who reach you at first by the way XD_

 

Reading the latest message he’d received from his now high-spirited friend across the internet, the bicoloured hair teen’s eyebrow slightly lifted in amusement. He found that when this shy teen finds out there are many kinds of emotion symbols can be used on the internet, he just started to use it frequently, finding it funny and attracting.

Well, Ryuuji must admit that somehow he feels that this raven teen across the internet is too innocent and yet own himself so much curiosity over everything. And he’s really a kind and warm person. This really makes him hard to believe that he’d been rejected by his school mates, and even his teachers. Why the heck the people around him scare about him so much? Just because of his overwhelming strength?

Waving away his thought, he continues to read the message viewed on the glittering screen.

 

_I had something good to tell you! :D Do you still remember the last time you called me to try for doing some exercise? It really works! Even it’s still not too obvious (I still broke things accidentally XP), but I found that I started to gain control on my strength! And I found another cool thing about the exercise stuff too! I also started to gain control of my temper! Well, it’s because I’m totally exhausted from the morning exercise sessions I give to myself at first, which makes me feel totally lazy to get mad of those comments… XP_

_But after few weeks, I found that I was able to control my own temper! :D I wonder why is it happening, but I found that every time when I manages to follow the schedule I made for myself , I’ll be proud of myself and I will think that I’ll soon shows them I’m not a monster! :D_

_… But I must say that it’s still hurt, especially they talk bad again about my dad and my brother. But I already can control my mood quite well now. And yet I never fight for a month already! :D I feel happy as I finally didn’t settle things by just using my fists! :D_

_And I have to thank you for this because it’s you who teach me about this method! :D It really helps me a lot! :D I really glad that you still willing to be my friend, really! Your presence had made me feels that I’m not all useless; I can still become a very good person! :D_

_Thank you again! :D_

_P.S.: And thanks for liking all my videos in these days and giving me complications! :D And your video’s as cool as ever! ;D keep it on! ;D_

_Sincerely,_

_Rin_

 

Letting out a silent sigh as he smiles a little for the content he’d found out in the message, Ryuuji’s currently feeling happy by the fact that he had helped the guy to regain his self-confidence.

 

And they actually did interact a lot during the one whole month. Ryuuji always found himself making a habit that constantly check on the raven teen’s channel and check for his latest songs. And the songs had returned to the normal ones that Rin always update, which are soft and soothing. He sure likes soothing songs a lot. Ryuuji always found himself manages to relax as he listen to Rin’s songs.

Well, he had to admit once again that Rin has almost no limit in singing various types of songs. He always manages to express the song’s effect to the max. This makes him somehow feeling jealous of his potential, but he also feels happy that he didn’t waste his talent by hiding it.

Actually Ryuuji also thinks a lot after he sends the message to Rin one month ago. It makes him recalls about all the painful moments he had met before. Rin is too much alike with him when he was still a child. And this makes him wanted to help him.

And without noticing, even by himself, he created a song three weeks after he sends the message to Rin.

A song made for Rin.

And he made it for himself too.

Looking at the file of the demo sound track stacked in one of his file on the pc, Ryuuji frowned a bit as he’s considering something important for him.

Even when his friends receive his idea for the song, they went shock and ask him whether that is a right choice for their new song.

They haven’t tried this type of music style before.

But finally they agreed to create the demo. And the result was better than their expectation.

But here’s the problem.

He’s thinking that should he send him the demo and he wondered whether the raven teen is willing to make himself the main vocal for his song.

And as he select the file and drag it to the message box, he pauses his action. And suddenly he felt his shoulder was pressed by someone.

“Hey!”

Shocked by the sudden tap on his right shoulder, Ryuuji turned around and his fist reached the source of the sudden greeting.

And the sound once again emitted as the punch reaches on a hard surface.

“Oww!”

And Ryuuji realises that the voice was owned by his rosette-haired friend.

Covering his nose with both of his hand, Shima squad down and let out a pain whine, “It hurts! Bon!”

“Oh Sorry…” Ryuuji flustered a bit, “But you didn’t knock the door before you come in!”

“I did!” Shima protested painfully, “But you didn’t respond! So I thought you fainted inside the room!”

“The heck?” Huffing at his pink – haired somehow annoying friend, Ryuuji gave his friend a dirty look, “Since when I became weak like that?”

“Nah I’m just kidding.” Standing up, Shima rubbed his nose to lighten his pain. “But you really hit me hard! Lucky that I didn’t broke my nose!”

“…Sorry. I’m just thinking about something…”

Rubbing his neck in embarrassment, Ryuuji’s eye shifted to the left. And he fixed his eyesight again back to the screen, frowning.

“Well, it’s okay, just don’t punch me in my face next time.” Shima patted his stern looking friend’s shoulder again, “And what’s the matter this time? Hmm? The demo? Just send it already! Baka!”

And Shima just clicked the send button before Ryuuji can react.

“Uh - Hey!” Ryuuji shoot a sharp glare to the annoying pink – haired friend, huffing in embarrassment, “Shima!”

“What?” Holding his head back a bit, covering one of his ear, “Just don’t act so girly on making decision! Wierdo!”

“I…” Ryuuji’s face flushed in redness as he protested, “I’m just thinking what I should write before I send this!”

“Bon…”brushing his fingers against his own scalp, Shima sighed at his friend, “Somehow I just don’t know whether I should call you a genius or an idiot…”

“What?” Ryuuji’s eye narrowed in both frustration and embarrassment, “You…”

“Nah, if you’ve got the time to angry at me,” Shima teased the hot-boiled looking friend with an evil grin on his face,“ why don’t you just send the message to the Rin - chan of yours first?”

“Wh - What? You--” Ryuuji send out his fist again in frustration.

“Nah, I’m just joking dude!” Dodging his friend’s fist of anger, Shima teased him again in glee, “But your face’s as red as a monkey’s butt! Man, I never know you’ve got yourself interested in man!”

“It’s not, baka!” Ryuuji protested, “I’m just angry of your nosy attitude!”

“Says the idiot that can’t even made a smooth conversation with others by himself!” Shima starts to run away from his room

“What the—Shima! I’m going to kill you!”

Just before Ryuuji manages to catch Shima’s collar of his shirt, a slight sound of the message notification created had drawn their attention back to the PC.

They rushed back to the PC and they saw a “?” symbol under Rin’s name.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Rin’s room a moment earlier…

He got himself a message just not long after he turned on the laptop and logged in to the Mephynet.

“Hmm?”

The raven teen’s head tilted in hesitation and curiosity as he received an audio file from his friend at the other side of the internet. The file name entitled “CORE PRIDE demo” appears on the message box viewed on the screen.

"D... Demo...?"

reading out the new verb he saw, Rin's eyebrow twisted in a funny way as he's trying to register the new word in his brain.

“Yukio,” Rin called for his brother for assistance, “What’s a demo?”

But there are no people in the room besides him.

“Oh man…” recalled something, Rin patted his own head and growled a bit at himself for his poor capacity of memory slot in his head.

Currently Yukio’s going out with his father, mentioning that they have togo somewhere else together again for something important.

Rin wanted to follow too since its weekend, but Shiro rejected his request. The reason given was “You’ll probably mess up something, and they’re not inviting you too”, which hurts, but it seems it’s something they don’t want to let him to mess up with, so he just went back to his room and hanging himself around his own room, doing nothing.

He had no choice or himself. It’s already near noon and the weather’s rather hot as it’s still in summer, and the weather makes him feels lazy to go anywhere as well.

Anyway, there’s not much place that he can go. So he decided to surf the net. And this is what he receives at this timing.

Scratching the back of his head, Rin let out a silent sigh and started to key in another link on the new tab of the web browser. And the view of a search engine pop out not long after the loading icon buffers.

“Well, guess I have to check it out by myself anyway…” muttering to himself, he type in the word ‘demo’ on the search bad of the search engine with ease and followed by pressing enter button with a practiced motion. And the results pop out within a few seconds.

The results are more than he think, but luckily he manages to find the right result because it’s listed on the top of the links given.

After having an idea of what’s a demo, Rin frowned a bit, his upper lips honked up a bit in curiosity once again.

“I wonder how’s the song will be…” He found his heart itch in curiosity. But he soon resisted the urge to click on the download button.

_Maybe he just sent the file to the wrong person. And it’s wrong that look at other’s things without permission._

So he decided to inform his friend about the “false message”. After a short while thinking, he decided to type a “?” symbol and send it by pressing the enter button.

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

Back to Ryuuji’s room…

“Look what you’ve done, Shima!” Ryuuji huffed at his playful friend with annoyance.

“What?” frowning at his friend, Shima protested, returning the annoyance, “I’m helping you to do the right thing! And you’re not sending some embarrassing gifts to your girlfriend anyway! It’s just a demo of a song! So why you just acted like a girl who got agony about sending the chocolate to her crush?”

“Wh-what?” Ryuuji tried to protest, but he found that he couldn’t refute what Shima had said.

Frowning, Ryuuji started to think what’s going on with him.

He doesn’t know what actually takes place on him. But he feels anxious when he tried to know more about Rin. But it didn’t happen when he’s together with Shima and Konekomaru. Perhaps he’s just anxious about the fact that he can’t meet Rin face to face. It somehow makes him feel unsafe. What if he’s just lying to get his attention? But he knows that Rin wasn’t the type of person as he knows Rin treats everything inwardly. So what’s the point he’s scared of? Was it because of Rin’s actually the first friend he tried to make for himself? Because he knows Shima and Konekomaru since he started to have conscious about his memory. They were together since they’re still a child. To Ryuuji, they’re more like a family for him. They’re always there for him as they’re staying together.

And he didn’t treat Rin as he treat Shima and Konekomaru. It somehow feels weird, but he did know that his attention was gathered to Rin, who just entered his life within two months. The way he cares about Rin was not the same that how he cares about Shima and Konekomaru.

He’s treating Rin as treating a child.

A child who was wounded by people’s harsh words.

Because Rin was facing the same situation as he met before.

But he’s luckier that his suffer ends seven years ago.

But Rin didn’t. The scars of the harsh words followed him until today.

But he’s still trying to stand straight and still, just like what he did before and now.

He wanted to help the helpless teen.

So he created the song.

The song that resembles a reminder for himself, and for Rin too.

“…Whatever,” waving his hand in a vision of waving away his thought, Ryuuji started to talk again, this time in a low voice, “I’m just scare that he refuse to sing the song.”

“Duh, Bon,” Rubbing his own scalp with his right hand, Shima started to talk, “Sometimes if you didn’t do anything just because you’re scared, you’ll surely regret for that particular thing in the future. So, don’t hesitate to give anything at least a shot, Baka.”

And he gently patted Ryuuji’s head, smirking at his friend.

“Tch!” Patting off his friend’s hand from his head, Ryuuji protested as he faced to his PC again, this time with determination fixed in the glow of his eye, “I don’t need a moron that doesn’t care much on his studies to call me an idiot.”

“You’re so mean!”

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

Back to the Okumura twin’s room again…

Currently Rin’s relaxing himself, paying all his attention to the music that he’s listening. He hummed along with the melody of the song he’s listening to with a gleeful curve on his cheeks. His body’s swaying in a gleeful tempo, following the tempo of the music.

But soon his attention was taken away by the short but loud sound of the message notification.

“Hmm?” The somehow irritated teen frowned in curiosity and frustration.He never expect that he’ll receive so many messages in a day. And this particular message had interupted his mood a little as it ruined the tempo of the song because it came in at the wrong timing.

“Hmm…”

Looking at the name shown on the notification, Rin’s eyebrow lifted a bit as he saw Ryuuji’s name again on it. Assuming that it’s the apology message for his own mistake, Rin clicked on the notification button and soon the link jumps into the message box.

_Sorry for not telling you earlier, but the demo is for you! Just open and listen to it! Hope you’ll like the song as I really hope that you'll sing this song for me! I’ll send you the lyrics later!_

“Hmm…Eh?!”

Rin’s jaw dropped as he finds something other than his expectation.

_A song demo for me? But why?_

He feels that his mind is spinning in confusion.

He really can’t understand why he send the song demo for him.

_Perhaps I can get the answer from it._

Thinking about it, Rin quickly click on the demo file and started to download it.

It took not long to finish the download process. And he opened the file that just stocked in the laptop.

The demo was amazingly done.

The beat was powerful enough to drag people to sing along with the tempo.

It’s a hard rock styled song. But Rin found that he doesn’t hate it at all.

He likes the song.

It's still obviously a MIDI¹ formatted instrument and vocal combination, but Rin can feel that this song will be a really hard core one. But he does like the style so much. He can surely tell that this song would be a really hot song.

_But why Ryuuji sent me this kind of song?_

Rin suddenly remembered that what Ryuuji had said to him in the message.

_Ryuuji wanted me to sing his song._

He feels extremely happy as he realised the fact that his friend needs him to complete the song.

_But why me?_

_There are still many people that are better and more popular than me._

_But why he chooses me to do so?_

_I… I'll probably ruin this amazing song…_

Rin found his chest tighten in anxiety as he started to worry.

He's afraid of ruining things again.

So he decided to message back to Ryuuji.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

Back to Ryuuji’s room again.

Currently Ryuuji’s copying the lyrics from his paper into the pc.

He had chase Shima out of his room not long after he replies Rin’s message.

And his motion was pause by the notification’s sound effect.

It’s from Rin again.

 

_The song’s great! :D I really like the demo. But do I really have to sing for this? I’m afraid that I can’t perform this song well... There are so many people that are better than me. Maybe you can find the others to sing it for you?_

 

Frowning at the message, Ryuuji’s head started to throb in pain.

He forgot that Rin was still lack of confidence. He should really explain this to him.

Ryuuji rubbed his throbbing temple with his thumb before he flies his fingers across the keyboard with a practiced motion.

_Well, actually I created this song for you by the way. I don’t know why, but I feel that this song suits you a lot. So I decided to let you to sing this song. Well, I was thinking of you which so much alike with me when I was a child._

_My closest friends and I were once called as “the cursed temple child”._

Ryuuji paused his action, frowning at what he had typed.

Should he tell the truth to the teen that doesn’t know anything about the demon’s stuffs and about exorcist?

He shouldn’t put this innocent boy into this chaotic truth.

But probably someday he’ll know about these things if they’re still going to be friends.

After taking some time considering of all the possibilities, Ryuuji decided to tell only part of the truth. And he started to continue from where he’d paused.

_It was hard to believe, but my temple do had a tragic history just before I was born. Almost all monks in my temple had died in that incident. Only the current head monk, my father survived from the tragic night._

_And the others avoid their child on having any contact with us. Both of my friends act like they didn’t care, but I was suffered from those harsh words._

_And the monks started to leave because of the fall of the temple._

_So I decided to become an exorcist. To defeat the person who caused the tragic night. He had killed so much people, including my friend’s family member. And I wanted to rebuild the temple after I manage to defeat him and becoming the head monk in my temple._

_But the monster was being defeated seven years ago by someone._

_And since it was defeated by our temple’s heirloom, our temple was no longer called as a cursed temple again._

_But the monks are still leaving the temple._

_The temples still have to be rebuilt._

_So I’m still planning to become an exorcist._

_But the other monks always laugh on my dream._

_Even my father called me to not involve myself into this._

_But he made no effort on rebuilding the temple._

_This hurt, of course._

_I don’t want to lose any of the temple’s members anymore._

_I wanted to protect this temple, and I will make sure no one will ever leave again because they are just like my family._

_Sorry for bringing it too far. What I wanted to say is from what you’ve told me during last month reminds me about myself. You’re too much alike with me._

_Maybe I’m treating you as I’m treating myself._

_But it’s real that I’m glad to meet you. You’re an important friend for me as you makes me think more about myself._

_And I do feel happy when I know I can help you in something._

_You’ll maybe think that I’m out of my mind, but becoming an exorcist was my dream after all._

_About the song, I feel that you’re the most suitable person for it. So I won’t change my mind of letting you becoming the main vocal for this song. You can just receive it as a gift from me as I actually made this song for you and for myself too. Just don’t mind to sing as it would be a gift from you to me too!_

_I’ll make you as my main vocal for my own band in the future if you like to! My friends mentioned that it’s a good idea to let you join in! They did really like your voice, and they’re amazed by your skill as well!_

_I did really hope that you’ll give it a shot as this really means a lot to me._

_You really got yourself an amazing talent in singing, so don’t be afraid to give it a try!_

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

Rin’s still surfing the Mephynet to spend his boring leisure time. He will never get bored by searching good songs to listen.

And once again his attention was brought away by the notification’s sound effect.

After taking his time reading the content of the message his friend sent to him, attached with lyrics of the song he sent him a moment ago, Rin sighed a bit, pressing his head on his right hand which placed on the desk.

He had heard too many times about exorcist from Shiro. He always says that exorcists are supposed to protect people from demons and devils.

_“Demons dosen’t exists, old man.”_

This is what he always thought.

And he’ll always argue about what he thinks with his father every time when Shiro tells him about those cases he was facing needs exorcist to help them.

And his father always gives him this answer:

_“Demons always hide deep within our heart, son.”_

And he always finds no way to fight back.

But he still doesn’t believe about those legendary stuffs.

Part of the reason is because he hasn’t seen any of those things before.

And he makes himself believe that humans are always worse than the demons.

But the job called as exorcist is still a mystery for him.

Shiro refuses to tell him what an exorcist is every time when Rin tries to ask him about the details. He always manages to turn the topic to nowhere every time Rin tries to mention about his question.

But from what his father and Ryuuji had mentioned, it seems the job has a relation with the demon.

So what does an exorcist do?

Waving away his thought, Rin click on the attachment file and open it as the download has completed.

After having some time reading the lyrics, Rin’s expression tensed a bit.

He must admit that he likes the lyrics a lot.

And he can actually say that he got strength from the lyrics.

So Ryuuji’s really planning to make him a song.

And he Ryuuji said that he treats him as treating himself… So perhaps he also make this song for himself?

Rin’s mind blanked.

So Ryuuji takes this seriously.

Singing for the other person doesn’t sound bad, and yet it was a new experience for himself.

Unlike the previous songs he sang, this time he’s going to sing the other people’s original song.

That means he’ll become the original singer for this song.

He’d never thought that he would become an internet singer. And he’d never think that he’ll being invited to sing for the other people’s original song.

And he did say that he and his friends liked his voice so much.

This makes him feel extremely happy.

He’d never been told by someone besides Shiro and Yukio that they like him in person.

He can’t stop feeling happy because his first and only friend says that he’s important to him.

_Maybe I can try to ask someone else about the exorcist stuff,_

As he thought, Rin started to type his reply in a bright smile on his face.

_Sorry about your past… But I know you do mean that if we endure the pain it will finally pass, right? Thanks for telling me about your story! I’m happy too that being your friend! My dad says that friends should be helping each other, and you’d listened about my story and kept my secrets for me before, so now it’s my time to listen to your story and keep it as our secrets too! :D_

_Well, glad that you still have friends that are willing to stand by your side. And I do really feel happy that you treat me as your important friend! This makes me feels that I’m needed! So I can stand still for living on!_

_About the song, the lyric’s great! I’m really happy that you said that I can receive it as a gift! :D_

_The song gives me strength as well, so I think I’m willing to sing it to give you strength too! :D_

_I hope my voice is good enough to give you the same level of strength I’ve received from you! Suguro-kun! ;D_

_So how can I perform this song? Because it seems I just have the demo for this… And I don’t think it’s really good enough to just sing it along and just post it on the net… Do you have any better idea for this?_

_Sincerely,_

“Oh I forgot about that,” Ryuuji patted his head in realisation as he finished reading the message he received a moments ago.

“About what?” Shima asks Ryuuji that suddenly muttered to himself while he’s looking at his own mobile phone.

Currently the Kyoto trio were together, gathering in the cafeteria and they’re currently enjoying their lunch.

“Uh, just received Okumura-kun’s message,” rubbing the back of his neck, Ryuuji stated, “He says that he’s willing to perform the song! But he also asked me that how we can perform the song and the fact that he’s just holding the demo for the song.”

“Oh I see~” Pausing himself from spooning the foods and sending them into his mouth, Shima started to tease Ryuuji with a smirk, “So it’s the Rin – chan of yours… Urk!”

He can’t complete his sentence as he felt a sudden pain strikes him as Ryuuji elbowed him hard on his side.

“Oww it pains Bon!”

“So stop teasing me, you idiot!”

“Agreed.” Konekomaru talks as he puts his drink on the table.

“You’re so mean, Koneko-chan!”

“Anyway,” Ryuuji ignored Shima’s whine and started to think about what he can do for Rin’s question, “So what can we do…”

“Maybe we can do things separately?” Konekomaru suggested.

“Hmm?” Ryuuji turned his head towards Konekomaru in curiousity, “Can you explain a lil’ about that?”

“I wonder if you knows about something like this,” Konekomaru asked Ryuuji for his mobile phone, and as Ryuuji give his mobile phone to Konekomaru, he started to search for a video. And he showed to Ryuuji as he found the video he wanted and plays it.

There are multiple views on the screen and each view represents different instruments played by different musicians.

“Oh got it,” Ryuuji soon realise on what Konekomaru had mentioned about. “That’s a good idea after all.”

“Wait,” Shima interrupted Ryuuji and Konekomaru’s conversation with one hand blocking their sight, “What’s that?”

“Well the thing is like this…” Konekomaru started to talk to Shima, explaining what’s in his and Ryuuji’s mind for the problem that Rin’s facing.

“Oh, I see…” Shima rubbed his chin and give his friend a thoughtful frown on his face, “That’s a cool idea by the way! Since we still have the half day for us, why not we work about it after us having our lunch?”

“Sounds good,” Ryuuji agreed Shima’s suggestion after a few seconds considering his own schedule. He’d done all the things he should do for today and he got himself half day of free time. “But first let me tell him what we’re going to do.”

It would be slow a little by using the mobile phone to messages the teen at the other side of the internet, but he can’t really wait to tell him about Konekomaru’s idea for his question.

“Bah Bon, just finish your lunch first.” Rolling his eye, Shima whined a little at Ryuuji’s action, “Your patience was going lesser and lesser when things are about this Rin - chan of yo -- Urf! Hey!”

“Just shut up and eat.” Ryuuji huffed at Shima as he started to message Rin by using his mobile phone, give no effort on paying attention to Shima that he had elbowed hard on his side once again a moments ago.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

I _t’s great to see that you say you will accept it! Glad that you like the song!_

_About the question you mentioned just now, I think it would be great by playing it separately and I’ll render it together into one video! All you have to do is just sing along with the demo I give to you without playing the demo loud! (Maybe you’ll need a headset for it?)_

_==============================_

_My pleasure! ;D_

_Hey it sounds cool! :D Can’t wait to see the video in the future! X3_

_But maybe I’ll need a few days to memorize the lyrics… XP Hope you won’t mind! XP_

_==============================_

_Ikr? Same here, I just can’t wait to see the result!_

_If you’re done with the recording, just send the original file to me before you upload it on the net!_

_Looking forward to receive your record soon!_

 

* * *

 

 

 

Currently Rin had settled down himself in excitement since he last receive Ryuuji’s message.

He really can’t wait to memorize the lyrics perfectly and sing it out.

This is the first time he’s feeling really happy or doing something for someone despite its Ryuuji who did that to him at the first place.

Doing something for someone else…

He had never tried it ever since he started to quit thinking that he would make himself any friends.

He always ended up mentally wounded as he tried to help the others.

Instead of receiving thankful smile from the person he’d helped, they give him a fearful look.

It hurts.

He never felt pure happiness by helping someone.

Because his happiness will always soon flooded by his own guiltiness as he found those fearful eyes shot at him, as if he does it for something else.

_Did I do something wrong again?_

This is what he thinks every time he left the person he’d helped silently without making them started to lost conscious in fear.

He fights to protect people and strays from bullies. But no one will ever know the reason for why he fights.

The adults only know that he beat the bullies hard.

But this time he felt different feeling deep inside him.

A warm flow that tickles in his chest makes him feels like he’s on the highest point of the heaven; his body was just feels like being covered by loads of fluffy stuffs. The feeling that lets him feels relaxed and he can’t stop himself from smiling.

And there’s no load that followed after this feeling this time.

He can’t stop smiling.

After a while enjoying the tickling sense filled his body, he calmed down and started to give his best to memorize the lyrics.

As soon as he finds that only reading the lyrics won’t help much, he played the demo that Ryuuji given him in this morning and started to hum according to the lyrics.

He can feel the lyrics gives him strength, so without hesitant he followed the lyrics full heartedly.

 

 

 

**_Born into the world, each enjoying his own life, discovering the black box in his head...is this bliss?_ _  
The important thing is to surpass your limit line. Shall we go? Take your step, and outdo yourself today!_ **

****

**_But what should we do with our days? Trying to live flawlessly is a big no no._ _  
Stop! Observe thoroughly the flow of the world! Ignore everything else, and here we go!_ **

****

**_If I try to suppress my heart, which is burning hot about things that are unobtainable or constrained,_ **   
**how am I different from those adults, whom I have come to despise and will never forgive**   
**for their constant attempt to pin me down blindly without even understanding why?**

****

**_No matter what I do, it'll probably forever remain a pipe dream that will never come true,_ **   
**but the fire burning in my heart cannot be doused by anyone.**   
**Even if the black rain falling from the sky drenches me completely and doesn't stop,**   
**I will never allow the fire in my heart to be extinguished. That is my "pride".**

****

**_It started pouring, as predicted. A lot more buddies gathered around than I had expected._ _  
While talking about one another's days and futures, we became impassioned and started a fist fight._ **

****

**_Thinking back about how we were also fist-fighting the same way_ **   
**back when we were only 15, as a means to quell our anxiety and uneasiness,**   
**you laughed and said, "You haven't changed a bit..." So I ended up bursting into laughter as well.**

****

**_If we don't stubbornly stand our ground like this, even the flow of time will become a scary thing._ **   
**The only true opponent whom I should hit is really my prideful self.**   
**But still, I don't want to lose right now. I have "pride" not to lose to myself.**

****

**_Stop! Observe thoroughly the flow of the world! Ignore everything else, and here we go!_ _  
Stop! Observe thoroughly the flow of the world! Ignore everything else, and here we go!_ **

****

**_No matter what I do, when I'm alone at night, I become even unable to understand myself._ _  
When you're with me, and we try to understand each other, then I'll be able to become stronger._ **

****

**_I don't care how things turn out, and I don't care if I'll look uncool,_ **   
**I will desperately try to change my future.**   
**Even If I'm told that my destiny is immutable no matter what I do,**   
**I myself can still change, and I will prove to you that I can change myself.**

****

**_This is, that's right, "pride", each in its own place..._ **

****

**_Don't perish yet, don’t perish yet, the fire in my heart._ **   
**I don't want to forget yet, the heat within my soul.**   
**Don't perish yet, don’t perish yet, the fire in my heart.**   
**I can still keep going, so here I go! So here I go!**

****

**_Oh Baby My Pride!_ **

 

****

Sighing at his own satisfaction, Rin tried to water his throat with his own saliva.

“Oh wow Nii-san!” Suddenly a voice makes Rin got chocked by his own saliva.

“Oh it’s you Yukio! Welcome back!” Rin smiled at his younger brother sheepishly after taking some time from coughing (of course, Yukio helpfully patted his brother’s back and asks him whether he’s okay or not.) and then Rin realises that his brother had come back home, “Since when you and old man come back?”

“We came back a few minutes before, and we are just in time to listen to you singing!” Smiling, Yukio stated, “So what’s that song you’re singing just now? I’ve never heard that before!”

“Ha, it’s my song actually!” Standing up proudly, Rin smirked at his brother, “And it’s made by Suguro - kun! The song’s cool, right? He said to me that he made this song for me and asked me to sing it for him!”

“Oh wow! It sounds really cool! Nii - san!” Yukio’s eyebrow lifted in surprise, and his expression changed into a further joy as he pressed his palms on his elder brother’s shoulder, “Looks like Suguro – kun’s a really great artist! I can hear that the song fits your voice a lot! Can I listen to it again?”

“Heh, sure thing!” Rin announced proudly, thumbs up to his younger brother, a wide smirk appearing on his face, “Seems it’s the request from my brother, and I have to find someone to give me some advice for my revision, it’s a sure!”

And he started to sing it all over again, this time with Yukio sitting on his bed and giving him some advice.

And after a couple of hours, he got exhausted and stopped himself from singing.

“Gah, it’s nice to have a plenty of water after singing so hard like this.” After having a glass of water his brother brought him from the monastery’s canteen, Rin sigh in satisfaction while he wiped the edge of his mouth with one of the back of his hand, and the other hand still holding the glass high in the air, while Yukio’s just smiling at his brother that always manages to overdo something.

“Ah,” remembering something, Rin jumped up from his seat and looked at his younger brother, “Do you know what’s an exorcist? What kind of job it is?”

“…Huh?” Rin saw his younger brother’s eye became wider in shock as if he didn’t expect that he’ll ask him such question, “Uh…As I know exorcist are persons who kills a demon or something… Why do you ask about that, Nii – san?”

“Uh, it’s just seems that the old man and Suguro – kun had mentioned about it…” Waving his hand, Rin explained his motive to his brother, “and it seems that it has to be something related to religious thing? Because it seems that sometimes the Old man will talk to the believers about those thingy and Suguro – kun talks about monks too…”

And as he turned his head back again to his younger brother, his eye met Yukio’s stiffen expression, as if he’s thinking something really serious.

“…Yukio?” looking at his somehow stressed out brother, Rin waved his hand in front of Yukio’s face hesitantly, “Are you alright?”

“Huh?”As if he’s jolted from his own thought, Yukio focused his eyesight to his brother again, “Yea, I’m alright. Let me help you to take the glass back to the canteen, Nii –san.”

And he stretches out his hand to his older brother for his glass. The stiff expression disappears as if it never on his face before and being replaced by his usual smile.

“Oh okay, thanks, Yukio.” looking his brother hesitantly, Rin handed his glass to his younger brother and watches his brother leave their room after his brother giving him a smile and leaving a “You’re welcome” behind him.

“Hmm… I wonder what’s with him…” Scratching the back of his head, Rin muttered to himself and turned himself back to the screen and started to reread the lyrics he’s received from Ryuuji, knowing that he won’t get any answer from his younger brother.

 

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well sorry for the late again… /w\”  
> Just make myself to think how should I change the plot and make it as natural as possible… /w\  
> Hope it won’t be so confusing and boring XP  
> And hoola~ there’s song inserted again X3  
> But failed to make the lyrics fluent and catchy for singing it out along with the original version… /w\”  
> Found the lyrics somewhere in the internet and I’m really have no idea on how to edit it… /w\  
> I just manage to edit a little on the last verse to make it as catchy as it can by repeating some lyrics… (Bon: so lame)  
> Anyway, thanks again for spending your time to read this! X3  
> And I will make sure the next chapter will be more interesting! X3  
> (Bunches of spoilers from me XD)


	8. The Gear of Fate which Starts to Turn

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rin's went bersek again because he saw someone abusing the strays to death.  
> Things getting worse as Rin heard "the whisper" once again and collapsed.  
> (sorry for the bad summary and this poor length of chapter *blushes hard* )

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello there! Sorry for the late because I just went to camping with my family, and I was struggling a lot with the idea of the storyline… Gomen! I'll do my very best to recover my weekly basis! If you're interested of knowing when I'll upload my fan fiction I'll always giving hints of it on my instagram or my Tumblr!
> 
> And here's my instagram... *blushes* normally I'll upload my drawings on it *blushes hard*
> 
> http://instagram.com/musicsoul95
> 
> I'm giving this because I doesn't like waiting my favourite fictions without any hint of will it be upload soon, I believe it's the same for all of you! so here's it! 
> 
> Again, sorry for the delay and I'll try my very best to avoid this mistake again! *blushes hard*
> 
> And I just edited Reiji's name because I'm finding myself doing the completely wrong thing because I just read some random fandoms and there's a person who had almost the same feature and I just mixed them up *blushed hard*

* * *

 

Today Rin was up early in the morning as usual.

He had maintained his habit of waking up early for sports.

He liked the habit because he found that he started to gain control of his overpowered strength. And besides that, he found that he started to sing better as he started to work up. His voice had gained in smoothness and stability two months after he started to have his new - gained habit. Although he still can’t manage to catch up with the school’s schedule because he had missed too much of the previous classes and it’s quite impossible to catch up without anyone’s help, but he found that he started to gain his mental stamina. He can stay awake for all the classes he attends without dozes off (although he always ended up confused by the new theories given during the mathematics and science classes).

Rin feels happy about the change in his life.

Listening to the constant sound of the wind that gently hits on his eardrums, Rin focused his sense to feel the gentle brush of the morning breeze on his exposed skin while he’s jogging back to the monastery.

Slowing down his phase while he’s going through the courtyard of the monastery and opened the door, Rin went in the warm space of his lovely home and head straight to the kitchen to have some water and take the ingredients out from the fridge for the breakfast.

After setting down all the ingredients, Rin rushed to the bathroom after he grab his school uniform and towel from his own room carefully without waking up his younger brother. Throwing the sweat – stained cloths to the laundry basket, Rin went into the now still dry space of the bathroom.

After twenty minutes has passed, Rin went out from the bathroom with his school uniform and his hair still soaks in the dampness. Pressing the towel with his bare hand, Rin rubbed his hair until he feels that it’s already dry enough before he throw the towel into the laundry bucket where his sweated cloths lies and headed to the kitchen to prepare for the breakfast.

It wasn’t long for the rest of the members in the monastery to wake up as Rin started to cook for their breakfast. It wasn’t a new thing for them already although they were shocked by Rin’s change in his habit at the first place. They hoped that Rin will maintain this habit, partly because they’re longing for having Rin’s mouth – watering dishes to start their new day.

“Good morning Rin!” One of the preist greeted Rin who was busying in the kitchen after he swallowed the water forming in his mouth as he smelled the drooling scent that fills the kitchen, “So what’s today’s menu?”

“Oh, Good morning!” Rin beamed at the priest and turn his head back to the heating stove, adding the oil into it and started to stir the heating pan to make the content spreads on the surface evenly, “Well, We will have bacon sandwich and _boltunya_ ① today as I found there’s bacons and some onion in the fridge, I hope you won’t mind it!”

“Sounds great!” The priest gulped again before he walks away from the canteen counter, “It’s great to have you here, Rin!”

“Heh thanks!” Rin blushes a little as he starts to move to the counter nearby, grabbing the plate that the bacon lays and carefully transfers them into the hot pan.

It took a while for Rin to finish the rest of the work, and the rest of the priests and Yukio had freshen up themselves once Rin had finish placing the dishes on the canteen’s table. And they have their breakfast in the canteen.

_Everything is getting better._

This is what Rin thinks when he stepped out the door of the monastery after he’d cleaned up all the dishes and going to school with Yukio.

Looking at the somewhat cloudy sky above him, Rin felt that he started to become a useful person.

_I’ll become a useful person soon, just wait and see._

As he was thinking, he stretches his empty hand, forming a punch towards the cloudy sky above him with a grin on his face.

But he doesn’t know that what awaits him at the school was a tempest of his life.

And the gear of fate just started to turn.

 

* * *

 

 

 

**_I'm searching, but I become entwined_ ** **_  
and unable to reach my destination._ **

_(Wired Life – Lyrics’ English translation)_

 

 

Rin was walking along with Yukio to the school happily. The praise of the priests given to Rin still lingered around Rin’s mind. Even this is not the first time for him to receive such kind of compliments; Rin still manages to get himself happy for the whole day over the praises that he’d got for himself.

Listening to the chirping sound and the gentle brush of the wind on his ears, Rin was humming along with the nature sounds in a random melody in a brisk tempo.

But his mood was soon interrupted when they passing along the shrine on the way to their school.

Rin stopped his step and turned towards the shrine, frowning as he smelled blood lingering around the shrine. The smell wasn’t too obvious to be found, but thanks to his senses that were better than the ordinaries, he manages to capture the scent of danger that was lingering around the shrine. And suddenly he heard something whining in a low voice.

“Nii-san?” Finding his brother acting weird, Yukio walked back a few steps and stands beside his brother, “Did something happen?”

“Something, or someone’s being hurt,” still frowning, Rin walk towards the shrine that is few steps away from them and walked to the corner of the shrine. The shrine wasn’t big, but it’s also large enough to hide something behind it. And the thick bushes and trees make it a perfect place to hide things behind the shrine. Yukio followed Rin in an instant, frowning in worry.

And what they found is a trio group circling themselves towards a seriously wounded stray dog with a wooden stick in their hands, leading by a pale - pink - haired teen. The wood stick they’re holding was stained by blood.

“Shiartori!” Rin yelled at the leader of the group in rage as he realised what’s going on. He moved in an instant towards the leader and he grabbed the collar of the pale – pink - haired teen before anyone could react.

“What are you doing again, you bastard!” Rin yelled again at the teen that gives him a dirty look, feeling his body boiling in anger.

“Don’t you see that?” The teen glanced at Rin gleefully, then shifted his sight to the seriously injured stray dog and back to Rin again, sick grin spreading on his face, “I’m helping a rubbish to end its life again. Well, you shouldn’t interrupt this…”

Before he could end his sentence, Rin punched him hard on his chin, making him fly for quite a distance and slammed on the floor.

“Bullshit!” Rin yelled again, his conscious lost in rage, “Didn’t I tell you if I found you doing this again I’ll freaking kill you?”

And Rin walked towards the pale haired teen, when the rest of the group throws away their stick and tried to pull their leader on his foot. Yukio pulled his brother’s upper arm instantly before his raging brother could reach them.

“Nii-san!” Yukio hold his brother on his back by locking his hand around his waist, preventing his strong brother to move further, “Stop it! You’re losing control again!”

Rin pulled his conscious back to him, the body is still boiling in rage.

“Go before I kill you, you bastards!”

And the group leave Okumura twins instantly, scaring that Rin will change his mind and go against them. The leader teen glared at the still raging teen, dirty smirk appeared slightly.

After a few seconds cooling himself down from his rage, Rin turned at the weakened stray dog and examine its condition.

There are stabbed wounds pierced all over the stray dog’s body. Pierced wounds craw all over its limbs, belly, and even there’s some on the neck. Blood leaked from its mouth and the wounds and stains its light brown fur and the ground where it lies. All the stray dog has done was looking at the twins that showed up in front of it, eyes filled with fear. And it was panting in pain, without making any noise. The stray dog’s slowly losing its sign of life.

“Oh my,” Yukio was terrified by the scene, “how can they do this? Nii-san, we should-”

“Just go to school, Yukio. Don’t stay here. The school will start soon.” Rin interrupted Yukio’s comment, griming at the situation they’re facing, “I’ll send this dog to the nearest shelter. And you’re going to school. And don’t mention about this to old man and the others.”

“Nii-san!” Yukio protested, gaining his tune and volume, “Are you trying to cover this alone? No way!”

“Just go! Yukio!” Rin hugged the weaken stray dog in his arm and stood carefully after he had made some rough bondages on the major wounds by using his own school uniform, back against his younger brother, “I don’t want you to be involved with this mess.”

“But-”

“Just go, Yukio. You’re going to be late at this rate. I’ll be fine with this.”

And Rin run away with the stray dog in his arm, without letting Yukio to fight further with his decision.

“Nii-san!” the last thing Rin heard was Yukio yelling at him before he leaves the hidden corner of the shrine.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

Rin walked out from the shelter with heavy steps. Deep sombre formed on his face.

_“It can’t be saved.”_

The scene of the conversation between him and the shelter’s admin still ringing loud in his mind.

_“Its internal organ was already pierced and there’s no way to recover it. And it’s seriously hurt. Who does it? Are you doing this?”_

_“No!”_

_“Any witness?”_

_“…No.”_

_“So where do you found it?”_

_“At the shrine nearby my secondary school, sir.”_

_“How did you find it?”_

_“I smelled blood, so I just went to the back of the shrine and find it out.”_

_“You’re lying.”_

_“No, I’m not.”_

_“Then explain how you can smell blood. Although it’s seriously hurt, but it doesn’t bleed much until human can smell the blood because most of the trauma were formed inside of its body.”_

_“…”_

_“Well, can’t explain? I can sue you for abusing this poor dog until its death.”_

_“It wasn’t me, but Shiratori does it again.”_

_“What? Trying to run away from your responsibility? ”_

_“No! Don’t you understand? If I was the abuser I wouldn’t send it here! Use your brain, sir!”_

_“You…!”_

_“Just do what you should have do and let me go! I’m already late for the school sir!”_

_“Fine, but you better don’t let me know that you’re the abuser.”_

_“I already said that I ‘m not!”_

_“Well, who believes you,” The admin gleam at the now angry raven teen in front of him, “You’re always the one who cause so much of trouble in this town, and who knows that you’re into this abusive stuff as you’re the monster in this town. Now get lost.”_

_“…”_

_Rin clenched his teeth, holding his grip tight on his sides._

_He felt his heart sank instead of feeling his body boiling in rage._

_He couldn’t say anything. All he can do was glared at the admin and turned his back against him and stormed away with heavy steps under him before he slammed the office door shut hard, causing the door to collapse within a second and leaving the admin watching, shocked at the situation._

_“He’s really a monster…” This is what Rin heard before he stormed out the shelter._

 

* * *

 

 

 

“Heard that the monster got himself into a fight again.”

“Yea I didn’t saw him in school.”

“But he had not been in fight for the past few months!”

“Probably he’s just being controlled by his foster father. Monser’s always a monster. A monster won’t change.”

This is what Yukio heard during the recess time.

Rin still didn’t return to school.

“Nii-san…” Yukio mumbled in worry.

He wanted to argue with those students who talk bad to his brother, but his brother’s word still lingering around his mind, as if there’s a power in his command.

_“Don’t talk to anyone about this!”_

“… I couldn’t protect you even a small thing like this, Nii-san…”

He felt that his heart sank into an endless cliff, drowning in self-loathing and despair.

He couldn’t protect his brother from the hurting words.  
  
Shaking his head lightly, Yukio walked away from Rin’s classroom as the bell rings, representing the end of the recess time.

 

****

* * *

 

 

 

**_Sinking deeper and deeper in the sea of misery,_ **  
**_I don't even feel like opening my eyes anymore._ **  
**_At this rate I could just sink all the way to the bottom,_ **  
**_without ever being discovered by anyone._ **

_(Shinkai Shoujo – English translation)_

 

 

Staring at his pale palms without blinking even once, Rin expression became somber as he started to think about what he had heard along the way he made himself in this playground every time when he have to be alone.

 

 

_“Ah! It’s that monster again!”_

_A woman whispered in fear as he saw Rin’s school uniform was stripped and was soaked in blood. His hand was bruised as he just punched Akira earlier._

_“Why does his shirt stripped? And look! There’s blood on his shirt and on his hand!”_

_“Did he killed someone?”_

_“Oh my gosh! It wouldn’t be?”_

_“Who knows! Everyone knows that he got himself that kind of strength! Who knows if he just unintentionally killed someone! And look at his face! He just look like a monster in rage!”_

 

 

Rin’s let out a silent sigh as he buries his face into his palms.

“Things doesn’t change at all…” forming his hands into a prayer gesture, Rin place his thumbs on the bridge of his nose, ankles pressed on his laps as he started to mumble to himself, “They still looks me as a monster… And I just messed up my own efforts… ”

Separating his hands again, Rin pressed his palms against his face again and sighed, “I’m such a failure…”

**“Give up then…”**

“?!” Rin shoot his head upwards as he heard something whispered to him.

But there’s no one around him in the playground.

“…Not again…?” Rin frowned as he realised it’s the inner sound in his mind again.

**_“Yes, again…”_** The whisper gained its volume in Rin’s mind, ** _“It’s me, your dark side of your heart…”_**

**_“You’re rerally an useless brat… Just go, and disappear in nowhere.”_ **

**_“And die in somewhere that no one knows…”_ **

Rin shook his head in confusion and disgust.

“No way…”

He know he wasn’t going insane, but every time when he messed up things around, the sound will start to consume his conscious, giving him negative thoughts, luring him to give up his effort, his conscious, and even his life.

“It’s way too early for me to give up…”

**_“It is too late, Rin…”_ **

The deep voice seems not giving up on luring him. The deep voice in his mind gained its volume once again.

**_“Just look at the event that happens today… They still hate you even you’ve tried your best… SO WHY DON’T JUST GIVE UP AND GET AWAY FROM THIS FILTHY WORLD…?”_ **

And Rin’s vision started to turned into darkness.

“No…!”

Rin hold his head in pain, curling into a circle, falling from his seat onto the playground’s floor.

Rin’s earring shine in a bright blue, but Rin was too scared to notice the dazzling brightness that was emitted from his left ear.

Rin’s shaking in fear.

He was afraid to the sound. The sound was too strong to lure him into the darkness of his own world.

But he can’t give up and listen to the voice.

Not for now.

Because he still have to stay strong to protect his brother.

“Rin!”

A familiar sound approached Rin, making Rin quiver in shock and he shook his head upwards.

The familiar frame of his own father appeared above him.

And his father embraced Rin that was still lying on the floor.

“It’s alright…I’m here…” Shiro gently bushed Rin’s back of his head for a while before he pushes his son back to his sight.

“…Dad…?” Rin’s eyes were filled with fear. But soon the fear disappeared all in a sudden, as if the fear was just an illusion. “Why are you here?”

“This is what I should ask you!” Shiro suddenly grabbed Rin under his pit and started to squeeze his neck hard, making Rin screeched in pain and confusion. “Why are you staying here! And why is your shirt stripped and soak in blood! Got in a fight again?! Now follow me back to the monastery!”

And Shiro started to drag Rin up from the floor, hand pinching on his ear before changing his gesture into hugging his son in a bridal gesture.

“Oww! It hurts!” Rin whined in pain and huffing in embarrassment, “I can walk by myself!”

“Says the kid who just lying on the ground and shaking as if the end of the world strikes him!”

“…Just put me down!” Rin huffed in embarrassment, but instead of struggling from his father’s embrace, he just turned his head away from his father, flushed in embarrassment. He can’t fight his father because his body still yet limp from the fear.

What Rin missed while they’re arguing is the vivid light on both of the jewel on Rin’s earring and Shiro’s ring started to fades slowly into the brightness of an ordinary sapphire.

 

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ① scrambled egg added with cold cuts and vegetables 
> 
>  
> 
> Gomen for the delay for almost three weeks! *kneels down*  
> The reasons for delaying this for so long was because of various types of events going on around me I can hardly find myself time for writing this novel… @@” 
> 
> -Back Of Screen-  
> Rin & Ryuuji: Bullshit! Ryuuji: Delay is delay! There’s no excuse for it!  
> Rin: How could you delay for so much you lazy— *being pulled away by Yukio*  
> Yukio: Says the laziest person among here. *pushes his spectacles*  
> Me: I’m sorry! I really didn’t expect I’ll delay it for this long!  
> Ryuuji: And where’s me? And why’s Rin’s dad hugging him like this? *burns in jealousy*  
> Rin: … Bon I think you need to calm down… *sweating* And he’s my dad anyway, there’s no point for you to be jealous…  
> Ryuuji: Who says I’m jealous! *flushed hard*  
> Yukio: I think I should retreat then… *slowly walks away*  
> -End-
> 
> And really, really sorry for making this chapter short… I’ll make sure the length of this novel return to the normal in the next chapter (Well, time for me to continue the next chapter then!)


	9. Nightmare?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rin falls asleep once he had reached home and he had a nightmare that was too real for a dream.(sorry for my poor english language *blush*)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Really sorry for the delay! *blush hard* this work was delayed for almost 2 months for my own information and honestly I do not want this to happen… *hides in shame* But I was being really busy for the last month and I was only able to write a little per day and I was stucked for the plotting for almost 2 weeks… Sorry for the length of this chapter, I’ll make sure I’ll do my very best to make the quality of my work in a perfect state! *blush*
> 
> And still thanks a lot for those who’ve leave their comment and review about my work in the past and who are really concern about my work when I was not able to update in time, I have to say thank you for you guy’s kindness and patience and sorry again for my delay on my work because I wasn’t able to manage my time well!
> 
> Again, Sorry for not inserting any songs and lyrics for both of the title and content because this chapter's really quite short@@

* * *

 

 

What was blocking Rin’s sight was an inferno of flame.

He was surrounded by flames.

He didn’t feel hot, but the sensation that emitted from the flames makes him feel uncomfortable. It’s like something’s trying to grow beneath his skin.

But what made Rin distracted from his worry was the flames’ colour. The flames does not share the same colour as the normal fire – The fire was blue in colour, which makes Rin recalled about the natural gas stove’s flames.

But a voice had pulled his attention back to the situation that he’s facing.

“Oh my Goodness! It’s the monster!”

“And he’s on fire! Run for your lives!”

He saw someone was running away from him in fear when he looked up to the direction of the source of voice.

“I’m on fire…?”

Looking at his hand, a flame emitted from his fingertips. But he didn’t feel pain or burned.

Then he realised that the flames were from him. The blue flames were belongs to him.

“…The heck…” Rin stared at his hands in fear as he stepped backward self-consciously, leaving the trail of blue flames in front him, “…What am I...?”

“Don’t come near, you monster!” A familiar voice echoed and Rin looked up consciously.

It was Yukio, who was holding a handgun and pointed at him.

“Yukio…? Why are you holding a gun…?” Rin stepped further, trying to reach Yukio, but was stopped as Yukio had discharged a bullet just an inch in front of his feet.

“I can’t let you go further! You monster!” Yukio yelled as he lifted the gun to the level of his chest as a warning.

“What…?” Rin looked at Yukio, horrified by Yukio’s word.

He never heard Yukio says that he’s a monster, even he had done too much things, hurting himself for too many times.

And now Yukio’s words shattered his heart apart.

“…You called me a ‘monster’…?”

“ _YES_!” Yukio screamed at Rin, voice trembling as he shouted his words to his twin brother, “And how could you doesn’t look like a monster with _THIS_ look!”

And he pointed at the side of Rin, leading him to look at the mirror that came out of nowhere besides Rin, which make Rin jumped a little as he realised a new presence besides him.

And Rin shocked at what he had seen in the mirror.

He had long, pointed ears.

His eyes were glowing, resonating with the blue flames like a dazzling sapphire under the light.

He had sharp canines. Not only his canine became sharp but his entire tooth had become sharp fangs.

His owned himself a beautiful long hair that was dyed in metallic blue and it was shining under the blue flames.

There are horns grown from his temple. The horn curved upwards and around with his head like a crown and it was decorated by the blue flames.

And the blue flames were floating at both side of his back, forming a trace of wings.

And he had a long, raven coloured long tail and its tip was enlightened with blue flame as well.

He just look like a devil that always shown in the storybooks.

Rin lifted his right hand. And the figure inside the mirror follows.

And he traced his fingers on his face, and then to his lips, the figure follows his action without failing.

And he pressed his finger on his canines, and jumped a little as he felt a sharp thing pierced through his finger and he tasted blood in his mouth.

“…What is this…?”

“That’s you, Rin!” another familiar sound echoed in the now empty space. Yukio was no longer in Rin's sight. And the space turned into dark crimson.

"No way..." Rin looked back at the remaining mirror that stands beside him, hands covering his face, "No...!"

I'm not a monster!

"Yes...You're!" The familiar voice echoed loud in his mind, "I know you're! Because I live inside you! And I know you more than you know yourself!"

“No!” Rin screamed, blue flames started to burst out from his body. And suddenly Shiro and Yukio appeared in front of him.

"RIN! STOP MOVING OR I’M GOING TO EXORCISE YOU!"

"Don't go! Father!" Yukio pulled their father's back to him as he yelled, "He's a monster! He'll kill us!"

And Yukio started to pull their father away and finally disappear into the endless crimson.

"Yukio...? Dad...?" Rin went panic and started to quiver in fear. He wanted to chase up but his legs were too heavy to move.

"See?" the mystic voice echoed again in glee, "This is how they'll treat you after your true form takes over!"

"No! They won't!" Rin yelled, finding his own body couldn't stop shivering in fear, "And I'm not a monster!"

"Yes you are! Just wait and see!" the voice laughed in vicious glee, "You maybe not for now, but I'll soon make you one!"

"No!!" Rin snapped.

He clenched both side of his head hard with both of his palms, covering his ear, trying to not listen to the taunt of the voice.

“Yes, you will,” But Rin’s attempt failed as the voice flows without any impede, “And it will be soon, you can’t run away from me, your dark side of your heart…”

“NO!” Rin shrieked as he continued to tighten the grip of his hand of both side of his ear and covered his eyes tightly, showing his attempt to get rid of the annoying voice.

And suddenly Rin feels warmth on his left hand and he consciously throws off his hands and opened his eyes in fear.

“Rin! You’re having a nightmare again!” The owner of the warm hand comforted Rin with another warm and magnificent voice and the owner always had. And Rin started to calm down as he focus his sight to the now bright room of his, and then to the familiar figure above him.

It was Rin’s foster father, Shiro Fujimoto.

“…Old man,” Rin relaxed a little as he finds out it was his father who wake him up from the terrible nightmare, And he tried to lift himself from his position, blushing a little in embarrassment, “…How long did I fall asleep?”

“About half an hour since you made yourself on bed,” Shiro pressed Rin back to his bed as he gently messed up his son’s hair and looked at him with a worry look, “So do you mind to tell me what you’ve seen in your nightmare? You seemed freak out.”

“…No thanks…” Rin clamped his temple as he replied, “At least not now…”

He felt extremely exhausted from that “nightmare” because it seemed too real for him to believe that it was just a nightmare.

But he can sure that his father won’t believe that what he’d said. And who the heck will inform to their parents that he was scared like a kitty by facing a horrible nightmare? Perhaps girls will do so, but definitely not boys.

“Okay then,” Shiro patted Rin’s shoulder before he lift himself from the side of Rin’s bed, “Just tell me whenever you’re ready.” After Shiro finished his words, he walked towards the door and gently shut it behind him.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -BEHIND THE SCENE-
> 
> Ryuji: What is this? It’s already 50 days since you last update this fandom and now you’re just giving this short chapter? Do you think that the readers are easy to play with? Or you just wanted to give up on this story already? How irresponsible you are! *grabbing the writer’s shirt collar*
> 
> Me: I’m really sorry for the delay! No! Absolutely not! I’ve been delaying because all the ****s I’ve got around me for the past 1 month plus twenty days! And actually I’ve finished for this chapter 2 weeks ago but I was ended up got stucked on the plotting for two weeks… And finally after rereading it I decided to make it this short! I promise I’ll update the other chapter soon! So can you just put me down?
> 
> Ryuji: Okay then. *drops the writer*But just remember to tell the readers that you’ll be delaying if you really have to delay! They’re waiting for your latest chapter and you just leaving them like this! How irresponsible you are!
> 
> Me: S, Sorry! I’ll make sure I’ll make notice if I had to delay my work in the future!
> 
> Rin: Oh wow Ryuji’s being a boss *chuckles* Shame of you, Mu-chan
> 
> Me: Wh, what? Just shut up!


End file.
